We started down the hall together, our footsteps echoing lightly.Bryan always walked like he was trying to keep his pace measured with me, even when something was bothering him.
“Everything okay?”I asked quietly.
He shrugged, his mouth tightening again.“Just my dad.College things.”
“College things,” I repeated.“That bad?”
He huffed out a laugh that didn’t sound real.“Depends on your definition of bad.He’s got his ideas.And while I used to go along with him.”He glanced my way.“I have other ones now.He doesn’t appreciate that.”
I remembered we talked about how his family wanted him to go into business and Bryan was more interested in something that led him toward security, like cyber security or maybe computer science.When he had explained it to me a few weeks ago, it was hard to follow.
We turned the corner.The hum of the lights above seemed louder here, and I realized I was gripping my hall pass a little too tightly.
“Have you gotten any acceptances yet?”I asked.I tried to keep my voice light, but the words felt a little trapped in my throat before I was able to push them out.
Bryan was quiet for a moment before answering.“Yeah, a couple.”
“That’s great,” I said, smiling even though he didn’t.
He adjusted his glasses.“Still deciding.I haven’t heard back from my top school yet, so I’m trying to keep my parents from losing their patience and forcing me into something I don’t want.”
“Which college?”
“Clarkson.They have a really cool hands-on program.It wouldn’t be far from here either, and I’ll probably do a hybrid of online and in person classes too.We’ll see how it works out.”
Clarkson.That was extremely big, and here I was thinking about which SUNY school would work for me.I did apply to that one, but I wasn’t holding my breath.We all applied to practically every college and university in the state.
Bryan sensed the dip in my emotions and wrapped his arm around me and even leaned forward and kissed my forehead.“I’m making a prediction, since I know you applied too.We’re both going to make it in.”
I snorted and shook my head.“I doubt that.”
“Doubt all you want.It’s still happening.Besides, who cares if you don’t get in with me?These days, Ivy schools aren’t all that impressive anymore.It’s all about the skills and experience you bring, and you’re boiling with that.”
“It just won’t look as fancy as having Clarkson on my resume.”
Bryan snorted.“Maybe just to prove a point, once I graduate, I’ll keep it off.”
I drew in a breath and finally gave him a smile.“I hope you get in though.It’ll be tough if you’re on the other side of the country.”
“Fuck no.While the idea of being far away from my parents sounds great, even if I went that far, they’d still be nearby.I swear they have a place to live in every major city at this point.It’s safer to just stay here considering how much they have to travel to begin with.”
I laughed at that.
“How about you?”
“What about me?”
“Any acceptances yet?”
I shook my head, though my mind did go to the pile of mail that I’d been ignoring because I knew there were college responses in them.I wasn’t sure what was going on, I just knew I didn’t want to know.I was terrified of knowing even though I didn’t understand why.
Something I should probably talk to my therapist about, but I’d been avoiding that too and considering how much we’d been needing to talk about and go over, it wasn’t hard.I’d rather work on learning how to face my emotions when it came to Lindie or the guys or my dad or from all the trauma that apparently piled up in the last year than deal with the idea of being accepted to college and creating even more distance between me and the guys.
“What else did you end up applying for?I know you were still going back and forth the last time we talked about it about some of the other schools.”
“I found a couple of SUNY schools who offer a program that sounded good.”I shrugged.“A couple of programs that actually deal with music therapy.It just makes sense, I guess.”
“It does,” Bryan said simply.No teasing, no joking.“You’ll be good at it.”
