“Show off,” I teased a little breathlessly, my pulse having spiked from the near fall.
“Maybe,” he replied in a teasing voice.
After a while, he led me off the ice and to a little wooden booth, where we were able to get steaming hot cocoa.The steam from the opened lid distracted me as we headed back to the bench that held our stuff.
“Thanks for this,” I murmured once we sat down.“It’s been an intense week, but tonight’s been perfect.”
Paxon nodded, though his expression turned pensive again, gaze lingering on the pond.
“Okay,” I said.“What are you thinking?”
“Huh?”He blinked and looked at me.
“Why has there been...”I pointed between us.“Why has there been this weird uncomfortable tension between us?What’s going on?”
He tried to laugh it off but it fell flat and he knew it.That was why he grimaced and leaned forward on the bench so his elbows rested on his thighs.He grabbed his beanie and ran his hand through his hair.“There’s just a lot going on, that’s all.Holidays are always a lot.”
“Paxon,” I warned, starting to feel frustrated now.There was something else.There was definitely something else and it was making me feel off not knowing what it was.
“I saw you two.”
“Us two?”
“You and Seth.Kissing.When I pulled into the driveway.”
“Oh.”
His jaw tightened and he sat straight again.“This is why I didn’t say anything.It’s just me figuring out where I stand with everything.I hadn’t seen it yet, you being intimate with others like that.It threw me off and I need to think about that.”
Dread filled me.“You’re rethinking us?”
He blew out a breath.“I wanted to have fun tonight, Cadence.Not think about that stuff.I don’t know what I’m thinking.I do know I like you a lot.And the others are extremely important to me.We’ve helped each other through a lot growing up and I have no intention of throwing that away.”
I nodded, not sure what to say that wouldn’t make things more complicated.I was also afraid I’d say the wrong things and this relationship teetering between us would finally tip in a direction I didn’t want.
This was a lot, me dating the five of them.I knew that.And we were just beginning.Well, not much was happening.We went out on dates and kissed, but it felt like we were only just starting.
But with Paxon, with what he told me, it was starting to feel like it was going to end before we got anywhere or figured anything out.That scared me.
Paxon reached over and gently took my hand, lacing our fingers together.His quiet way to let me know things were still fine between us.That he was still there.I squeezed his hand hard, needing to hold on to that because it was beginning to feel like I’d go around a corner and find that I was all alone again.
