I shivered as a cold wind slipped by.Toby wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.We walked slowly and I was absolutely mind blown by all the lights.There were a ton of reindeer, elves, presents, archways, decorated Christmas trees.It felt endless as we walked.Magical even.
About halfway, it opened into a small courtyard.
“Oh, wow,” I said, my eyes practically bulging.In the center was a large fountain covered in lights.Benches were set up around it, most already filled with couples and families.Toby brought us over to one near the massive Christmas tree.It was probably the biggest tree I had ever seen in person, going up and up into the night sky.
“So?”Toby asked.
“This is insane,” I said.“Beautiful.Crazy.Did we walk through a portal into a fairyland without me knowing?”
He laughed and pulled me to him so I was tucked comfortably into his side.“I’m glad you like this.I wasn’t sure if you would.”
“I’ve never been to Disneyland, but I feel like this is how it’d feel,” I said.
He laughed again and pulled me even closer to him.I didn’t know it was possible to get any closer.We snuggled into each other, sharing our body warmth as we stared at the lights and everyone walking around us, including the kids determined to climb the tree.Some of them had ornaments.They’d go up to the tree and put their ornaments as high as possible, with some lucky enough to be able to get on someone’s shoulders to reach even higher.
It was adorable.
“Cadence?”
“Hmm?”I asked, a bit distracted as two boys, maybe around ten, were getting on each other’s shoulders to go higher.I could imagine the guys doing that when they were that young.Heck, I could imagine them doing it now.
“Thank you for coming out with me.This has been a lot of fun,” he said.It should have been a good thing, but his tone was a bit thicker than usual.
I pulled away and looked at him.
“I’ll go wherever you need me to be.Within reason of course.”
That got a flicker of a smile, but then it dropped away.There was strain around his eyes that didn’t sit well with me, and I straightened, trying to figure out what was going on.
“Is everything okay?”I finally asked.
“Of course,” he said, flashing me probably the fakest smile I had ever seen from him.
I clenched my teeth and tried to gather my thoughts.My first instinct was to call him out on that, but he also felt fragile in a way I wasn’t used to from Toby.
After blowing out a breath and finally gathering my thoughts, I said, “You aren’t like Justin, right?”
His eyebrows rose.“What do you mean?”he asked, genuinely confused.
“I know something’s wrong.And I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you won’t react like Justin did, right?You won’t go dark on me, right?”
“No.Cadence, no.I’m incapable of never talking to people.I’d go insane.That is most definitely not my thing.”
I didn’t realize how tense I had become until he said that and I relaxed.
“Okay.Good.”
I glanced away, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed.
“That really fucked you up, didn’t it,” Toby said in a lower voice.
I drew in a breath, the cold biting at my lungs.After releasing my breath, I said, “I’m used to people leaving me.And I didn’t think...”I shrugged.“Justin checked out on me, and I didn’t realize it was an issue until it was.”
“Your dad.”
“Part of it.”
He tilted his head to the side.“Your mom?”
