“Okay. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” He cups my cheeks, taking my lips in a deep kiss. He pours all his emotion into this kiss, and by the end of it, I’m ready tothrow in the towel. Make him stay and hold me all night long so I don’t have to feel the way my heart is being ripped out of my chest as he tears our lips apart, kissing me one final time on the forehead. I don’t though. I need to start getting used to being alone again. I can’t always rely on him.
“Goodnight, Hannah,” he whispers, turning and heading to my front door.
“Goodnight, Thomas,” I reply, watching him leave and instantly regretting it.
45
HANNAH
My bed is so cold without another person to keep me warm. I should have let him stay. He texted me when he got home, and I said thanks. All I wanted to do was tell him to come back, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I can’t sleep. My mind is whirring a million miles a minute. What if they didn’t get all the people working for Chaz, and they know we’re back in town? What if they hurt Thomas? What if they hurt me?
I haven’t needed to take my anxiety medication to sleep in over three weeks. The realization surprises me, but I know that I only have Thomas to thank. He’s the reason I was able to stop taking it without even knowing it. If I want to get a wink of sleep tonight, I need it. I get out of my cold bed and stride over to my suitcases. I didn’t bother unpacking, I can do that tomorrow. The only thing I did after Thomas left was take a quick shower to rinse off the day, and climb into bed. It feels weird not having Arson around to let out one more time before bed, or have him lying at the foot of the bed as he waited for me to change into my jammies.
How could six weeks alter my life so permanently?
I dig in my bag, searching for my toiletries bag. When I finally find it, I sag in relief against the wall. I find the pill bottle in the bag, sighing when I see there are only two left. I’ll need to get a refill. I never needed to use it as much as I have recently, but then again, my life has never been as out of sorts as it has in the last six weeks.
Taking a pill from the bottle, I stand and head to my bed. Tears prick at my eyelids as I take the medication. I could be sound asleep in Thomas’s arms right now, but no. I had to be stubborn.
I lie back down in my still cold bed and cry. I’m such a mess.
After a nightof minimal to no sleep, even with my medication, I wake to a text from Thomas.
Thomas
Good morning, freckles. I missed you last night. What are you doing today?
I look through my phone, seeing the missed messages and calls from Julia. I hadn’t gone through it last night after I got it back, but I have a bunch of messages from her. It looks like she was messaging me the entire time we were gone, even though she knew I didn’t have my phone.
The most recent message was from her this morning.
Julia
I know you’re home.
Call me as soon as you wake up. I need to see you!
I sigh, going back to the message from Thomas.
Me
Not sure. I just woke up, but I’m pretty sure Julia and Tiff will break down my door if they don’t hear from me in the next hour. You?
His reply is instant.
Thomas
Josie and Andrew invited me over to meet the new baby. Would you like to join? They want to see you too.
Me
Oh, no. That’s okay. You spend time with your family today. I don’t want to intrude.
Thomas
You’re not intruding, freckles. They invited you. They want you there. I want you there, too.
