43
THOMAS
Ithrow my toiletries bag into my duffel, cursing the fact that I’m fully packed up. It’s officially time to go home.
We got the call early this morning, three long and bittersweet days after Elena told us they arrested Chaz. Hannah and I spent the remainder of our time together cuddled in bed, sitting on our swings talking, cooking and baking in the kitchen, basically anything to spend as much time together as possible. There were moments of sadness, realizing we wouldn’t be able to meet Ron and Dottie for breakfast anymore, or help out on their little farm. But there were also moments of happiness, too. Realizing we built an incredible relationship with Ron and Dottie. We are going to stay in touch with them, and even plan to go to a Blue Herons game with them this winter. We’ve also gotten their phone numbers, with plans to FaceTime and visit when we can.
There was also happiness in the fact that whenever possible, we made love. The moments of pure bliss where I was inside her making her cry out my name as she came with her eyes squeezed shut, have been some of my favorites from our time here. She’s grown and changedso much in her confidence in herself, in the way she carries herself around me, and opens up to me, and I’m so proud of her.
Both Hannah and I have been quiet, avoiding the elephant in the room. What happens when we get home? I know what I want. Sure, we may not have to play engaged anymore, at least in the eyes of the investigators, but I still want her to be mine. Anytime I’ve tried to bring it up, Hannah shuts down.
If I didn’t think it would scare the shit out of her, I would propose to her for real, the minute we got home. I know that she’s not ready for that though. I am. Perhaps it’s too soon, but I know who I want alongside me for the rest of my life, and it’s her.
Thinking of proposing reminds me of the ring in my dresser. Gramps gave it to me years ago. I’m not sure why he chose me out of my three other brothers to give Grandma’s ring to, but it’s perfect. A yellow gold ring with small white diamonds nestled around a single pearl.
I shake off the thoughts of an engagement ring that isn’t quite ready to be used yet, and turn my attention elsewhere.
“Han?” I call. She’s upstairs packing her things. Last I checked, Arson is with her, snuggled up on the bed. If we get packed up quick enough, we will start the drive today. The sun has barely risen, but we are up and at ‘em.
“Yeah?” she calls back.
“I’m going to run a few things out to the car,” I tell her, hauling my bag over my shoulder and grabbing Arson’s bed from the living room floor. A plume of fluff erupts from the bed, and I groan. I’ll make sure to vacuum everything twice before we leave.
Hannah calls an “okay” and I head out the front door into the early morning. The sun peeks through the trees,casting a glow over the dew-covered grass. I’m really going to miss the serenity of this place.
I throw the bag into the back of the vehicle, then decide to take a minute to myself. I stride over to the swings where Hannah and I have spent many hours learning so much about each other. Sharing vulnerabilities, stories, and all around, spending the time together.
I sit down on the swing that has been unofficially designated as mine, rocking back and forth as I take in the view one last time.
As I sit, I ponder over our time here. Looking back, it feels like it was yesterday that we arrived. When we arrived, I was terrified. Terrified that I made the wrong choice by taking Hannah with me, that it was selfish of me, but now, I don’t regret it. I did what I had to do to keep her safe, and in doing so, I got to know her better than I might have if we were at home. This uninterrupted time with her has been a gift, one that I won’t take for granted.
It hurts, knowing that things will change, but I think it will be a good change. It will be good getting back to real life, and our normal routines.
Footsteps alert me to her arrival before I see her.
“You okay?” she asks, sitting down on her swing.
“Thinking,” I reply, offering her a smile.
“What about?”
“I’m going to miss this place. It’s so peaceful.”
Hannah nods. “I agree.”
“Are you all packed up?” I question.
“Yeah. We have to clean a bit, but otherwise, I’m ready.” Her voice is somber.
“Arson left a pile of dog hair behind his bed.” I chuckle.
“He left some under the kitchen table, too,” Hannah replies with a soft laugh.
“Sounds about right. I swear, I could make two whole other dogs with the amount of dog hair I find and vacuum up at my house.”
She laughs again. I’ll do anything to make her laugh. Anything to keep her smiling.
“Remember our first date?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
