His thumbs brushed over my cheekbones as he tilted his head deeper, his tongue sliding against mine. My pointer finger hooked around the chain on his neck. I whimpered as he pulled me closer. These moments when he kissed me, when his mouth was fused to mine…these memories were going to haunt me every day. I would miss this so much.
His mouth moved past my lips, pressing kisses over my cheeks.
“I don’t know how to be just friends with you,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Shhh,” he murmured, trapping my face in his hands again. “Stop thinking. Just let us have this, right here, okay?”
So I clenched his shirt in my fists and leaned into him, getting lost in his touch, his mouth, his warmth. The rhythm, the rightness, the tenderness…it was making me delirious. My entire body purred. I didn’t know anything about our future but I knew this man loved me. You didn’t kiss a woman this way if you didn’t. There was no lust, no smut. Just pure, unadulterated love. As if he could bear his whole soul with this one last act.
It was a goodbye kiss for the books.
When he stepped back, I stumbled against the counter, love-drunk. But what did this mean? I looked up to see Blue watching me with so much adoration in his eyes.
His hands propped on his hips as his chest heaved. His eyes were wet. “I will love you until the day I die. I need you to know that. And I’ll wait, if that’s what you need. If that’s what it takes for you to understand that football is nothing and you’reeverything.”
I looked down at the floor, unable to believe his words. “I love you, Blue. I always will. If it’s not you, then it’s nobody. I just…I don’t know how to make this work right now.”
He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “It’s okay. We’re going to take a step back. Give each other some space. For however long you need. If that means until you’re done with vet school then that’s fine. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
I nodded, hating this. But loving him more in that moment than I ever had.
He stared at me for a few more seconds before reaching into his pocket. He pulled my phone out and handed it to me. I’d left it on the table.
I glanced down at the screen to see Shane’s latest message open.
Shane
Blue's lucky to have had you in his life. But sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for someone we love is to let them go.
My gaze flashed up to Blue’s. There was anger burning in his eyes.
“I blocked him for you. And I don’t want you to unblock him.” His tone was stern. “Ever.”
I shrunk back against the counter, so ashamed. I should’ve told him about the messages but I hadn’t because Shane was right. I was holding Blue back. I kept the messages as a reminder that Blue needed to go pro and I needed to let him.
His expression was intense. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks. What anyone else thinks. We make our own rules. You got me?”
I sunk down, my face hot. But I nodded.
“I’m in this for good, Anna. No matter how long it takes. You’ll see.” He leaned over and pressed one last kiss to my lips. “All todamnpieces.”
Then he pulled the door open and walked out of my life.
CHAPTER 32
anna
Ichecked my text messages again, the ever-present ache inside my chest reminding me that Blue was no longer mine. It had been two months since the night he drove away from Dupree Ranch. Two torturous months since I’d seen him. We’d texted here and there. But our conversations were stilted and disjointed. A smattering of superficial back and forth about football, school, and the weather. There was no discussion of us or our future. Which was for the best. Blue had needed to focus on the NFL Scouting Combine—which he’d rocked—and now the draft. The last two months had only taught me what I already knew. Blue and I were no good at being just friends.
But I couldn’t hold back today of all days.
Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck. I can’t wait to see where you go. Break a leg, Blue.
I’d sent it three hours ago and nada. Crickets. Sure, he’d be busy today. But that didn’t stop me from checking my phone every fifteen seconds.
The ache ratcheted up a notch now that the TV was on. I forced myself to breathe through it. At least my heart wasn’t palpitating anymore, thanks to the ten pounds I’d put back on. It’s amazing what not having a narcissist breathing down your neck will do. It didn’t hurt that my two best friends force-fed me French fries every night either. Still, I might gain the other ten back if I could let myself be okay without Blue.
But I didn’t know how to do that.
