SILAS
Iyanked my arm from Christy's grasp and put my hands on my thighs to stop the earth from flipping backward.
A couple of minutes ago, I’d been positive this was going to be one of the best weeks of my life. Early morning sunrises with Clem. Late night walks along the beach under the stars. Even if I couldn’t touch her. Just knowing she wanted me to…
And now, somehow, Christy was in our vacation rental, glaring me down like an angry heifer whose calf was being threatened. Had Holden invited her? Or my mom? Or had she invited herself? And how had she found the house?
“I’ve got the girls. You handle this mess.” Mom nodded at Christy, clearly referring to her as themess. Then she stalked out of the room.
Everything in me screamed to go after Clem—to lay it all out and make her see the truth, the same way she had done for me. And not to leave her side until she did. But the determination on Christy’s face told me that if I didn’t set things straight with her first, she would follow after me, causing an even biggertrain wreck.
I grabbed Christy by the elbow and marched her past my brothers and my dad, out the front door of the beach house and onto the screened-in porch. The ocean waves, which normally relaxed me, were loud and annoying.
I’d spent the entire summer trying not to hurt Christy. When she cussed me out and hung up the other night, I was relieved. Even more so after Clem kissed me. I’d thought I would never have to tell Christy the truth, and she’d move on none the wiser. I’d told myself I did it for her. But I’d taken the coward’s way out. I could see that now. Christy was going to get hurt no matter what I did.
I let go of her hand and stepped back. Christy was a tinderbox, and while I should take my time, I didn’t have that luxury.
I held my hands up before she could talk. “Clem and I kissed. A lot. Intensely.” I didn’t know a quicker way to clear things up than that.
Anger flashed in her eyes. “You’re a freaking cheater, Silas.”
I blew out my breath. “If that’s what you want to think. But it’s not true. It just happened yesterday.”
“Oh, so technically you didn’t cheat. You know, if you want to be the technicality guy.” She laughed bitterly. “Did you even love me at all?”
“I thought I did. But I can see now that I’ve never given you my whole heart. I don’t want to hurt you. But this is the truth: I love Clem. I always have. And I had no business trying to make things work with you when I felt that way about someone else.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “Does she love you back?”
I scrubbed the top of my hair, looking at the ground. Anything to avoid the pain in her eyes. “She does. Or she did until a few minutes ago. I have no idea now.” And the longer Istood there, the less certain I was. I needed to get inside and find Clem.
I glanced through the window back into the kitchen. Dad and Ashton were talking, both glancing out at us. Ford was listening intently, frowning. I hadn’t told Holden about me and Clem—looked like I wouldn’t have to. Dad was doing it for me by telling Ashton right in front of him. Holden had been such a douche the last time he was at the ranch that I didn’t feel like I could. Why did he look so sideswiped, listening to Dad’s explanation? He knew how I felt about Clem. I burned a hole into the side of his skull, trying to get his attention. His head snapped around, and I widened my eyes at him, pleading for help. He stood up so fast, his chair fell backwards.
“I need to hear you say the words,” Christy said, bringing me back around. “I need closure."
I bit my lips and sighed. Okay. “It’s over between us. I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Christy stood there, hugging herself, tears streaming down her cheeks. A decent person would’ve hugged her, but I wasn’t touching any woman other than Clem ever again. Especially right now, with the chance that Clem could walk in and see it. The door opened and Holden walked out.
He offered me a sad smile. “I’ve got her. You go.”
“Christy.” I gave her one last look. “I really am sorry.”
She collapsed in Holden’s arms, sobbing into his neck. I’d never been more thankful for my brother than I was right then.
If I could’ve cloned myself for a few minutes, I would have taken the time to make sure Christy was okay. But the more time that ticked by, the bigger this would build up in Clem’s mind. That was human nature.
Dad and Ashton’s conversation hushed when I walked in. I jogged through the kitchen and down the hall. “Clem,” Icalled her name. The flamingo room was empty. “Clem.” She wasn’t in my room either. “Clementine!” My chest tightened. Why wasn’t she answering?
I thought of running to the master suite but didn’t think she would’ve gone into my parents’ room. I took the stairs to the second floor three at a time and opened the door to the big bonus room, with the ping-pong and pool tables. Dead empty. “Clementine!” My voice was getting louder, more frantic each time I called her name. I raced back down the stairs and this time I did go to the master suite.
I flung the door open and stopped. Anna was curled up against my mom, with Huck in her lap. The TV was on and they were watching one of those cheesy teen dramas. Clem was not in the room.
Anna sat up when she saw me. “Uncle Si?” I was relieved to see she’d stopped crying. It killed me that she’d had to witness that. Anna had already been through way too much. I’d been such a tool, thinking I could contain this situation and it would never touch her. I had to do better from now on.
“Hey.” I rushed over and knelt in front of her. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pressed her cheek to mine. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “But don’t worry. I’m going to fix this. I meant what I said. We are going to be a family, okay?”
She sat up, her hands on my shoulders. “You promise?”
