The way she radiates something holy.
I've lived in darkness so long, I forgot what light feels like on my skin.
But it’s here now.In her.
And I crave it.
I watch her, unnoticed for now.A tightness expands in my chest.A cocktail of anticipation, hunger, and a fear so sharp I’ll kill myself before ever admitting to it.
She represents everything I don't deserve.
“Great.Look what I found.”He holds up some kind of round multi-spice contraption.It’s like a miniature spice rack.Why the fuck is he showing it off?
“That’s neat.A lot of variety.”
“Is it just you?”Her eyes meet his, and it takes every ounce of control I have not to intervene.She doesn’t answer right away so he tries again.“You don’t have a man?”She absolutely does.She just doesn’t know it yet.
“I have a husband,” she says.Well, well, well, what a liar.I hate liars.But in this case, I’ll happily let it slide.
“Where is he?”This fucker just signed his death certificate.
“Right now,” she hesitates.Mistake, baby.Never hesitate.“He’s at work.”
Not anymore.
I step in before she has to come up with anything else, unable to watch this horror show any longer.
“Sorry I’m late, darling.”
Her eyes go wide and I can’t stop my grin.She freezes for a breath, but then, God bless her, she adjusts.Tilts her head, smooths her expression.Doesn’t blow our cover.
“Oh,” she says, voice a little high.“Hey, honey.”
Honey.I never would’ve pegged myself as a man who would enjoy being called a ridiculous name like honey but hearing her say it, I could die a happy man.
I brush a hand against her lower back, enough to make my point, and lean in to kiss her cheek.She stiffens beneath the touch, but she doesn’t pull away.Doesn’t correct me.
That’s my girl.
The other man clears his throat.“Uh, I didn’t realize you were meeting someone.”
I give him a look that saysmovealong.He gets the message.
“Dried oregano,” I say, tossing the words over my shoulder like an afterthought.“She always forgets it.”
“Always,” she echoes, cheeks flush but recovering fast.“Well, uh… good luck with your baking,” the loser says, then retreats like he’s been set on fire.He has no idea.
When he’s gone, I let my hand fall from her back.I don’t want her scared.I want hercurious.
Her fingers touch the spot on her cheek where my lips brushed.I fight every instinct to stay, but this game only works if I don’t come on too strong too fast.
But she saw me.Really saw me.And she didn’t flinch.That means something.
“You’re safe now,” I tell her.For once, it isn’t a threat to someone else.It’s a promise to her, a vow.She doesn’t know it, but that man is hours away from drawing his last breath.
She lets out a breathy laugh.“Thanks for that.”Her laugh lodges in my bloodstream, where it’s going to live until I die.It makes my chest tight not to be able to tell her I’m going to wipe the earth of that man.I let myself, for one beat, imagine that I’m good enough for her.I allow myself the fantasy of being a man worthy of standing by her side, not as a shadow, but as the source of her strength.Then reality puts a hand on my throat.I was shaped by a world she's never had to navigate, a world I hope like hell she'll never have to.
“Of course.”I take a step back, about to walk away, but not before I soak in every inch of her again.And then I lock it down.She's standing right in front of me, and she played along.Maybe only to get rid of the creep.But maybe not.
