Maybe something in her liked it.The leash around my soul just got shorter.
She gave me a taste.
And now I’ll starve without more.
I tilt my head and lean in close enough that only she can hear what I say next.
“I’ll play the part of your husband any day, Lindy girl.Just say the word.”
She inhales, sharp and unsteady.Her lips part, but no words come.She doesn’t stop me as I pull back and doesn't look away.Her cheeks are flushed, her lashes heavy.
God, yes.Her reaction will fuel me for days.My thumb finds the hilt.One, two, three.The tap doesn’t calm, she’s too close.Husbandsits in my mouth.If I swallow it, I’ll choke.It’s a vow I’ve got no right to make…yet.
I picture a ring on my finger and almost laugh at myself.Almost.TheMachinewearing gold.Then I see it onherinstead and go still.If I can’t be good, maybe I can belegal.One day I’ll put the ring there and dare the city to touch her.
Fluorescents hum.A register chirps.The cooler coughs cold air.I breathe.In.Out.Only her.Only gravity.Then I walk away, counting the steps.Not too fast.Or too slow.But like a man who knows she’s still watching.
Because she is.
I will possess her, but she’s not ready for that yet.I’ve never much cared for playing the game of impressing a woman, but she’s the exception to every rule.
And next time, she’ll be ready for more.
six
I’ve killedmen for less than the way that asshole looked at her.If I hadn't stepped in, he would’ve kept pushing.Asking questions, prying, angling for a crack in her armor.
He would've gotten one, too.Because she’s kind.Because she’s not like me.And now that I’ve seen that softness up close, I know we don’t belong together.But, wedofit together.The proof is in hours of texts that feel like oxygen.In the store her eyes saidyesand I know I didn’t invent that.I almost wish I had.If she didn’t respond, I could protect her by walking away.I think I could walk away.If I knew she didn’t want me, if this was all make believe, I think I could do it.But she’s willing, and I’ll never stop on my own.
I slide on my sunglasses and walk to my Harley, the desert sun already baking the seat.I toss a leg over and sit there, motionless, watching the automatic doors.Just in case.If he follows her out, I’ll tail him home and put a bullet in his spine before he hits his front step.I’d drag his ass inside by his throat and make sure he knows exactlywhyhe’s dying.I’d let him feel every second of what it means to stare into the eyes of a man born to end life.I’d leave his body out in the open, mouth stuffed with fucking oregano.
I can’tnotkill him now.
Just so the next asshole thinks twice before looking at what’smine.
Even if he never speaks to her again.Even if he crosses the street when he sees her.Even if he fades into the background like a coward who knows he got too close to something sacred.Doesn’t matter.He made eye contact with the sun, and men don’t get to walk away from that kind of heat.Unless they’re me, apparently.She's my sun, and I'm the planet that won't ever fall out of her sky.And her light?I kneel to it.It's the only thing I'll ever answer to.It's mine alone to live under.
But, she looked at him.
Smiledat him.
Because she’s kind.Because she still believes the world isn’t full of men like me.
She doesn’t know what that smile is worth.How far I’ll go to protect it.
Buthewill.
I saw her.
Heard her laugh.
Touched her skin.
That should’ve been enough.But it isn’t.It’s never going to be enough.
I ride home without music.Helmet on, visor down, her name echoing through my skull.
Melinda.
