Daphne grinned. “That should be wonderful news. Why are you up here crying instead of downstairs celebrating?”
“I turned him away.” Rebecca sniffled and dashed a fresh tear from her cheek.
Daphne’s brow furrowed. “Whatever for? Captain Beauchamp is a fine catch. A war hero and a gentleman.”
“I cannot marry a soldier. I am sorry, Daphne, but I have no desire to become a young widow.” A fresh batch of sobs racked Rebecca’s body. “Look how you wound up. Alone with a baby.”
“Hush now.” Daphne pulled Rebecca close. “I would become a young widow over and over again if it meant a life with the man I loved. And I am not alone. I have my son and you and Phoebe and your parents.”
“How can you say such a thing? Roland has been gone for nearly two years and you still cry yourself to sleep most nights.” Rebecca glanced up, ignoring the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can hear you through the wall.”
“I will not deny my sorrow.” Daphne took Rebecca’s hand in hers. “However, I do not grieve over Roland’s death; I grieve over the loss of his presence.”
Rebecca looked up at Daphne, confused. “You speak in riddles.”
“I merely mean I grieved him in life as well. Anytime we were separated, my heart ached for him because I loved him.” Daphne squeezed Rebecca’s hand. “I still do. You cannot run from love. The only cure for your suffering is Captain Beauchamp.”
Rebecca closed her eyes, her mind spinning.
“I would choose Roland time and again if given the opportunity, despite knowing how things ended for us. A thousand deaths would not sway me, for the time we had together was full of love and happiness. I would never give up a moment I spent with him. Not for any reason.”
Rebecca groaned and pulled the coverlet over her face. Daphne’s words filled her head. Half of her wanted to cling to a life free of heartbreak, while the other longed for the life Daphne’s words implied—a life with Captain Camden Beauchamp.
Should she go to Camden? Tell him what a fool she’d been, or stay the course and hope the pain would pass? “Daphne, I don’t know what to do,” Rebecca sobbed.
Daphne tugged the coverlet back down, pinning Rebecca with her gaze. “Let me ask you this. Is it possible for you to hurt more than you do right now?”
“Yes... No... I...” Rebecca shook her head. “My heart is broken.”
Daphne’s voice was quiet, but her words held weight. “Then what do you have to lose?” she asked.
Rebecca considered Daphne’s words for a long moment. Seeing the reason in them, she said, “Nothing.” She dried her tears, then moved from the bed to stand at the window. “I have nothing to lose. Thank you for making me understand, Daphne. For helping me see reason.”
Rebecca’s gaze shifted to the flickering light coming from the castle’s lancet window. The castle where Camden had first kissed her. Where he had given her the most wonderful gift she had ever received. The place where they had first meet and where they had come to know each other. Where they had fallen in love. Her heart swelled until her emotions were nearly too big to contain. She spun to her sister-in-law and said, “I must go to him.”
Daphne beamed at her, a joyous smile stretching across her face. “Good. Now go make things right for both of you. I will stay here in case anyone should come looking.”
Rebecca dashed across the chamber, coming to a halt at her bedroom door. “Thank you, Daphne.”
“Off with you,” Daphne said as she waved her out. “Go before you get found out.”
Rebecca raced from the room and toward Almerry. As she ran, she prayed Camden would forgive her. Prayed he would welcome her with open arms.
What a fool she’d been.
Everything seemed pointedly clear to Rebecca as she rode at a full gallop toward the looming gatehouse of Almerry. Her heart raced, keeping beat with the horse’s thundering hooves. She’d not blame him if he hated her; it would be her own fault. Still, she prayed he would welcome her back into his life.
She pulled her mount’s reins next to the stairs leading to the second-story entry and slid from her saddle. Her fingers fumbled, slipping from the leather reins as she tried to tie them to a nearby post. After long moments of frustration, she managed the semblance of a knot. She took the steps two at a time, her skirts hiked up to her knees before pounding on the massive arched door, her heartbeat keeping time with the pounding of her fists.
When no answer came, she pushed the heavy door open. With her heart in her throat, she raced across the entry hall. “Camden! Camden!” She yelled as she made her way up to the third floor. Her chest heaved with the exertion. She paused for a moment, gasping for breath.
“Camden, where are you?” She called out, her voice echoing through the keep. Slivers of moonlight spilled through the lancet windows, lighting her path as she stepped into the master chamber. A makeshift bed sat along the far wall, but Camden did not lie upon it. She glanced around the room. There were no signs anyone occupied the room. She made her way to the next chamber, and her heart plummeted. Empty. Had he left Almerry? “Camden, I was wrong. I’m sorry.” Her voice bounced off the walls, echoing back to her.
She ran from room to room, floor to floor. There was no sign Camden had stayed here. Not a stitch of clothing or scrap of parchment anywhere to be found. Not even a servant answered her pleas. Finally, out of breath and back in the entrance hall, she sank onto the floor, clutching her knees. A fresh batch of tears pricked at her eyes as she rocked back and forth. She was too late. Blast her foolishness. He’d taken his possessions and gone. Now she would never get the chance to tell him how she really felt. Never feel his arms around her again. Her heart shattered anew as tears spilled from her eyes.
The cool floor chilled her bones, but she did not care to move. Instead, she pressed her eyes shut against the pain she’d caused. How had she allowed herself to be so foolish? She rolled onto her back, stared up at the ancient ceiling. Her chest rose and fell at a rapid pace as she fought to gain control of her emotions.
She pushed herself up from the floor, straightened her gown, and dusted her skirts off. He could not have gotten far in so short a time. She’d go after him. Surely he rode for London. How hard could he be to find? She drew in a deep breath against the pounding of her heart. She had to tell him how wrong she was.
