“Yeah. I’ll definitely still be paying them when I drop dead, so don’t get your hopes up about having a sugar mama.”
He put a hand to his heart. “You’ve crushed my dreams, Muffin.”
I snorted. “Anyway, I was seventeen when I graduated culinary school and went to work in a restaurant. I loved every single day of it—both school and work. I didn’t even hate it when I screwed up and got yelled at. I smiled, constantly. And then Aidan showed up.”
“That’s your shithole ex?”
“Yeah. He was hired to help run the kitchen. We met in the parking lot on his first day, and he shifted. I didn’t know what was going on. One of his packmates worked there too, so they dragged me to his house. His wolf only held me captive for two days before he bit me, and luckily I didn’t lose my job. We went back to work together. Aidan was our new sous chef, so he was in charge of me. Things between us were…” I searched for the right word.
“Miserable?” Ethan suggested. “Hellish? Unhappy? Awkward? Uncomfortable? Ugly?”
“Intense.”
Ethan lifted a hand to his face, covering his mouth as he cleared his throat. Definitely trying to hide whatever his response was.
“I didn’t grow up in a healthy family. I thought his intense emotions were a sign that he cared. The first time he threw me into a wall while we were fucking, I thought the bruises were an accident. Every time he hurt me afterward, I thought that was just how werewolves were. Passionate. Intense.”
“Cruel, you mean.” Ethan’s voice was low.
“Violent or sadistic would be a better word, but yeah. I thought it was normal. I thought it meant he loved me, even when he was berating me, degrading me, or humiliating me. His pack told meit was, when I tried to ask about it. They avoided looking me in the eye when they did, but I thought that was just to prevent him from going on another possessive rampage. It wasn’t until I was in the hospital, nearly dying of blood loss, with his mother crying over me that I learned the truth.”
“She told you werewolves aren’t supposed to hurt their mates.”
I nodded. “That was the moment I learned why my wolf hadn’t bitten him yet after fourteen months. I sobbed. She held me. And when I was breathing normally, my wolf finally rejected him. He was in the hospital’s lobby when he lost his mind to rejection, and the doctors put him down with a needle. It was… humane.”
“Far more humane than he deserved,” Ethan growled.
I nodded. “Yeah. I never went back to a restaurant, afterward. Moved here after Aidan’s mom helped me sell our house and find an apartment close enough to another werewolf town, in case I ever needed it. She worked with someone in Moon Ridge to help me get this job. I guess her town has connections to this one. I’m going on ten years of university hell.”
“I thought you were only here because of a young college professor program.”
“The other girls are, but I beat them here by a long time. Aidan’s mom was my only friend before I met them, so I’m glad the program started. I’m pretty sure she was behind it, actually. They accepted way more women than men.”
Ethan’s eyebrows shot upward. “You still talk to her?”
“I did. She died, soon after the program started.”
“Fuck.”
I nodded. “I know it sounds crazy that I stayed in contact with her, but she found out her only son was a sadist on the same day she lost him. She was hurting too. And I genuinely believe that if she’d known what he was doing to me, she would’ve gotten me out one way or another.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy, Maya. It sounds like you were really fucking alone, and she was the one person who cared.”
My throat swelled.
He wasn’t wrong.
“Anyway,” I said, trying to change the subject.
“Notanyway.”
“Yes, anyway. I’m sure we can find something less awful to talk about than—oof.” I said the last word against Ethan’s neck while he hugged me. He’d picked me up off the couch and set me on his lap.
Strangely enough, his body felt good against mine.
Really good.
I tentatively wrapped my arms around him too.
