“Yeah, it is.”
He’d gotten her a mug of coffee, and she was still holding it without taking a sip.She was pregnant.The tests had long since left the trash, and she hadn’t taken the few remaining tests, because there was no point.She was pregnant, and right now, she was too much of a coward to tell him.
They were in a good place, a great place.The sex was out of this world, and she loved being around him.Even when he was away, she thought about him and wondered if he was okay.
He’d told her everything about the heart attack.He did have to take some medications, but the doctors had said he was lucky.If he didn’t make changes, they said he wouldn’t survive another one, but Hawk had told her the changes had already been made.
Hawk’s company had been sold.She had expected him to be morose, but he’d looked so damn happy.This surprised her.
He was ready for the next chapter of his life.He had already told her he intended to stay in Hope.His family was delighted, and she had met them.Hawk had insisted on taking her to a Sunday lunch, and that had been amazing.
His family were so loving and welcoming.She had been so nervous.She knew there were a lot of women who would want Hawk for his money, but she wasn’t one of them.She wanted Hawk for him.
Her own family adored Hawk, as they divided their Sundays between his family and her own.
She loved Sarah as well.Her kids were little terrors, and her husband Harry worked with her to tire them out.They were a team, and it was like they were able to communicate without making a sound.It was amazing to see.
“Is there something wrong with your coffee?”Hawk asked.
She looked toward him and down at her coffee, being pulled out of her thoughts, and she pursed her lips.“Oh, my coffee, it’s great, you know, it’s a good cup of coffee.”
“You know, I’ve not seen you take a sip.Are you sure it’s okay?”
Katie didn’t know why she was on the verge of panicking.It was just a coffee.She couldn’t drink it as the smell alone made her feel like vomiting, only she didn’t tell him that.She didn’t say a word.And she felt like her world was slightly spinning, because she hadn’t taken a breath.
Just tell him.
She didn’t know why this was so hard.They had been having unprotected sex, and there was no way this should make her panic.Unprotected sex led to babies, to families.
And yet, she smiled at him, then took a sip, and the moment she did, she felt her stomach instantly reject it.She tried to keep it down, but her baby was having other ideas.Shoving the coffee into his hand, she didn’t say a word as she ran to the bathroom.She did close and lock the door, and then bent over the toilet.She hurled absolutely everything she had eaten and drunk that morning.
“Katie, what’s going on?Are you okay?”he asked.
She didn’t say a word, pushing her hair out of the way as she threw up a little more.
This was not good.This was not sexy.
“I’m fine,” she said, taking a deep breath.What else could she tell him?
“Babe, please open the door, you’re sick, and I want to be there for you.I’m going to tell the coffee shop that their milk is off, okay?”
“It’s not the milk,” she said, flushing the toilet and putting down the lid so she could sit on it.She ran her hands across her face, feeling like absolute shit.Pressing a hand to her stomach, she tried to soothe out the ache, calm herself, and stop the sick feeling.
“Katie?”
The door was still closed and locked and she knew she was being a big baby.This was not how she wanted to tell him.The only problem was, every single time she had attempted to tell him, she’d panicked.She didn’t know how to tell him they were going to have a baby.They hadn’t talked about babies or a future.All they had done was enjoy each other, that was it.
She stared at that door and knew this couldn’t go on.“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said.
“Open the door, Katie,” Hawk said.
“I can’t.”
“Are you trapped?”
“No, I’m not trapped, but there is something I need to tell you, and this is the only way I can do it.I keep chickening out, and this is the best way to do it.”She took a deep breath.
What the hell am I doing?
