“Is this where you want to be?” he asks, pressing his mouth to my collarbone.
“Yes.” I wrap my arms around his neck, trailing my fingers through his short hair. “I want to be close to you.”
He cradles my body against his, wrapping his strong arms around me and pressing his nose into my neck. He inhales a shuddering breath.
“I really like being held by you,” I whisper.
“Good,” he murmurs. “What else would you like?”
I shift, and he loosens his grip enough that I can look him in the eye. “I’d like to kiss you now.”
I close the distance between us and press my lips to his. It’s nothing and everything to me at the same time. It’s like breathing—simple, necessary. Something I have to do. Something that’s agiftto get to do.
TJ tightens his arms around my waist when I cup his face. He doesn’t move. He’s giving me time to explore his lips at my own pace. They’re softer than I expected, and I like that. A big, tough football player with soft and sweet lips. I pause at the corner of his mouth and smile before I kiss the crease. I drag my lips across his and move to the other side, pressing another kiss in that corner. TJ’s chest is heaving, and his eyes flutter open when I pull back. He blinks a couple times and gazes at me.
“Now,” I tell him, “I’d like you to kiss me back. I don’t want you to worry about going too fast or being too careful. I trust you, TJ. Please—”
He doesn’t wait for me to say more. He drags his hands up my torso. Water splashes around us as he spears his fingers through my hair. He lets his thumbs rest along my cheekbones as he kisses me. Firm and strong and sure. The cold air swirling around us and the steamy haze off the water heightens everything about this experience. The liquid droplets on my cheeks cool and sting, but even that feels good right now.
TJ takes his mouth away from mine, and I immediately protest, but before I can complain too much, he’s moved his lips to the column of my neck. I gasp and feel him smile against where my pulse flutters.
“I can’t get enough of you, Lu,” he says as he presses an open-mouth kiss to that spot.
I snap my eyes shut, letting my head roll back. “Kiss me there again. Please,” I add.
This time, he scrapes his teeth against that spot, and my toes curl. I blink my eyes open to find him watching me, his gaze a blazing flame of desire. He smiles, keeping his eyes fixed on mine as he kisses me there again.
Having him hold my gaze with such care and adoration might be my undoing. His eyes shut as he sets to work trailing a line of sparks down my neck and back up again, and I feel like a firework about to explode.
I go up on my knees with my legs on either side of his waist and press my body into his, kissing him soundly on the mouth as he leans back, his fingers digging into the skin at my hips. He tastes like peppermint and fresh winter air, and he’s delicious and wonderful and warm.
I expected my first kiss to feel awkward. In a lot of ways, I couldn’t wait to get it over with so I could at least say I experienced it. It was like a looming box that I hadn’t checked. Here, with TJ, I don’t want to rush. I don’t feel self-conscious. If this is on my to-do list, I’d like to do it forever.
I didn’t realize how much kissing could be like a conversation without words. The back and forth, the humor mixed with moments of intensity that steal my breath. TJ keeps checking in, keeps making sure I’m happy and comfortable. He’s respecting me while not treating me like I’m weak. He’s showing me with his kisses what he’s been showing me since the night of the gala—that he’s dependable and strong and cares about my feelings.
For the record, right now, I am feeling some type of way.
Desired. Cherished.On fire.
“You’re too good to me,” I say between kisses.
“Not possible,” he says against my lips. His breath is ragged. “You’re so beautiful, Lucy. I could never deserve you, but I’m going to try.”
Our kisses turn more languid and unhurried.
We take our time. I explore his mouth and manage to find a spot right at the hinge point of his jaw that makes him growl when I kiss it. It’s a powerful feeling being close to TJ like this, seeing him be open with me in a vulnerable way. I vow to myself I’ll cherish him the same way he’s cherishing me.
I trace his tattoos again with my fingers, and we stay in the hot tub, tangled in each other. We talk and share secrets and dreams and goals and hopes and worries. As the cold wind whips around us, here, in TJ’s arms, I feel like I’ll be warm for the rest of my life.
Chapter 33
TJ
Kissing Lucy brought me back to life.
All I can think about is seeing her and kissing her again. It’s early on Monday morning, the day after Christmas. I have the day off, and Lucy agreed to let me take her out to breakfast. I assured her it was an out-of-the-way spot and we wouldn’t be discovered.
I pull up outside of Daisy’s Inn and take the steps two at a time. A family is walking out the front door, so I grab the handle and hold the door open for them, mindful to keep my head lowered. Flying under the radar is going to take some getting used to, but for Lucy, I gladly will.
