“You can see why Gram lost her mind.”
“The artwork is actually incredible.” Lucy presses her hand to my arm and tilts me forward so she can study it again. The soft touch of her fingertips makes me lose my breath for a moment. “It looks like it’s ready to pounce. Like it could leap off your skin.” Her hand slides down my arm, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
“I can’t say I’d get the same tattoo if I were going in for one today, but I don’t regret this one. It’s big and daring, sure.” I shrug, thinking back to the kid I was walking into the tattoo parlor at eighteen. “That’s what I was going for. I graduated from high school and was off to college, walking on to the football team. My parents were gone, but my whole life felt like it stretched out before me. I had nothing figured out, but I wanted to live big and bold, with no fear. I thought if I did that, I could really be something, you know? The tiger is who I wanted to be.”
There’s something intimate about showing my tattoos to Lucy like this, here and now. Just the two of us. I glance over to find her staring back, and I’m suddenly insecure. The tiger tattooisoutlandish. In those online articles critiquing my body, it’s often what commenters say downgrades me in my overall sex appeal. I don’t really care what those people think, but Idocare what Lucy thinks.
“You probably think that’s juvenile,” I add with a nervous chuckle.
“Not at all.” She shakes her head. “I’m glad you told me about it. I like hearing the story behind it. I like when things have meaning.” She scans my upper chest and then tentatively reaches out and places her finger on a set of Roman numerals, touching them so delicately. There’s no legitimate reason I should feel her fingerprint like a stamp to my heart, but I do. “These numbers must be significant.”
“The first two are my parents’ birthdays.” I watch her trace over the important dates of my lifetime. “Then the date they died. I added my grandparents’ birthdays over here, along with the dateI got drafted by the River Foxes. My plan is to add to the lists when formative or impactful things happen to me. Things I want to remember and that are a part of me, in a way.”
“That’s really beautiful,” Lucy whispers.
I swallow hard. Sitting here with Lucy—it’s the first time in a long time I’ve let myself think about adding the date of my marriage. The thought of having children and including their birth dates makes my vision swim. I blink back my tears, lifting my hand and covering her fingers, pressing them to my chest.
We sit in silence, my heart hammering away under her palm. My head is spinning with thoughts of the past, and everything that got me to this point, while also churning ahead, sprinting toward an unknown future. I close my eyes and tell myself to be here now, in this moment with Lucy. I look at her and she smiles softly, holding my vulnerability like it’s a treasure. I want to pull her closer, but I sit still. This is all new, and for Lucy, this is uncharted territory.
“What’s this one?” she says after a few moments, dragging her hand across my pecs and to my opposite arm. She turns it so she can study the design on the inside of my bicep.
I grin as I recall the day I forced my teammates to get tattoos. “Funny story, but I got Poe and Anton to come with me, and we all got tattoos a few years back. They thought I was unhinged, forcing them into all sorts of shenanigans, but it worked out. Anton got a tattoo of a rose, which, after I learned about the real Rose, made a lot more sense. Poe got some poetry, which, honestly, is fitting. I got mine in honor of my grandpa. I knew my grandma would appreciate it, too, but it was mostly for Pa.” I point to the design. “It’s a reminder of what he always taught me about priorities. Faith, family, football.” There are three symbols in the tattoo—a long cross in the center, the Triquetra, and anXandOpattern.
Lucy traces the cross. “So this is for faith. What’s this one?” she asks, pointing to the three interlocking arcs of the Triquetra.
“That’s a Celtic symbol for the trinity, which symbolizes the unity and connectivity of the family. These”—I take my hand and move her finger to the small drawing in the background—“are meant to show a football play call. The cross is the focal point, followed by the Triquetra, and then the football stuff sort of fades behind it all.”
Lucy leans closer to study it, and the scent of her tropical shampoo makes my stomach pitch. “This one might be my favorite.” She flits her gaze up to meet mine. “Do you think you’ll get more?”
“Yes,” I answer without hesitation. “Tattoos are a form of expression for me, and when I reach a milestone or have a breakthrough, I like to document it. Actually, I’ve been thinking about some new designs lately.”
Lucy tucks a flyaway behind her ear. “Like what?”
“A pine tree, for starters.”
She sucks in a breath. “That’s beautiful, TJ.”
“It’s meaningful to me. That day at the farm was meaningful to me for a lot of reasons.”
Chapter 32
Lucy
Ipress my lips together, watching as TJ shifts his position slightly so he’s looking squarely at me. The intensity in his gaze—the desire and the care in his expression—is almost too much to bear. I look down and try to focus on the bubbling water swirling around me.
But then TJ’s large, calloused fingers are under my chin, tipping it up ever so slowly.
“Please,” he whispers. “Look at me when I tell you this.”
I barely manage a nod. The reverence in his gaze makes me feel like he lit a snug, little fire inside me.
“You’re meaningful to me, Lucy. I want to be clear when I say that. I’ve developed feelings for you.” He chuckles at my wide eyes. “Don’t look so surprised. You’re extraordinary.”
I squish up my nose. “I am not.”
“You are, Lu.” His voice is strong, firm. “You said at the gala when we first met, and then again several times after,” he adds with a pained look, “that you aren’t interested in anything more right now, but … I am.”
My heart, which was already racing in circles, starts levitating in my chest.
