“Many times. Different dreams, but they all end the same way.” Keishin wept. “You leave me.”
“Maybe this time it will be different.” She climbed into bed next to him. “Maybe I’ll stay.”
Keishin put his arm around her. “No more lies, remember?”
“It’s not a lie. It’s a wish. I wish I were real.”
Keishin tried to dry his tears, but more fell. He would have asked them to stop, but even in a dream, the only law they followed was gravity. “Do you know what I wish? I wish that Icould grieve you. Grieving ends. But I can’t grieve. You’re notdead. You’re just…gone.And I can’t do one damn thing about it.”
“I’m sorry.” Hana laid her head on his chest.
“God, I miss you, Hana.”
“I miss you too.”
“Can you tell me a story?” Keishin closed his eyes. “Just until I fall asleep?”
“What story would you like to hear?”
“The one about the fisherman and the turtle that became a princess.” Keishin pulled Hana close. “But this time, don’t let him leave her in the sea.”
“All right, but only if you do something for me too.”
“Anything.”
“Stop looking for me, Kei. I live in your past. You can line up at the restaurant all you want, but yesterday has no door.”
Chapter Sixty-one
The Last Bowl of Ramen
It looked exactly like the first bowl of ramen he’d ever had at the restaurant, but it tasted nothing like it. Two years of visiting the restaurant and finding nothing but a crowded dining room behind its door had soured the soup. Keishin gagged, struggling not to spit it out.
A woman wearing a strand of cheap plastic pearls took the empty seat next to him at the counter. The bun that held her silver hair threatened to come undone. She wore a faded shirt printed with the logo of a small flower shop chain.
People, Keishin thought, were a lot like neutrinos. Countless numbers passed right through you, unnoticed and invisible. The only time you noticed a neutrino was when it collided with a water molecule. In the silver-haired woman’s case, Keishin would not have noticed her if her pink name tag had not fallen from her shirt and clattered on the floor by his foot. He picked up the tag and handed it back to her.
“Thank you.” The woman dropped the tag into an overstuffed purse and smiled. “You look very familiar. Do you come here often?”
“No.” He pushed back a silver lock of hair from his face. “I live in Gifu.”
“Gifu? That’s quite a long way to come for ramen. But Iunderstand. It is the best in the city. May I ask what you do in Gifu?”
Keishin set his chopsticks down. “I watch the stars from beneath a mountain.”
The woman raised her brows. “Wouldn’t it be easier to watch the stars from the top of the mountain instead of under it?”
“I will pass your suggestion on to my boss. And how about you? What do you do? No. Wait. Let me guess. You work at a flower shop.”
“How did you…” The woman glanced down at her shirt and chuckled. “Oh.”
“Do you like working there?”
“On most days. I like flowers. People are always happy when they buy flowers.” The woman narrowed her eyes at Keishin. “Are you sure that we haven’t met before?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“The mind plays tricks on you when you get older. Or perhaps it is simply wishful thinking.”
