If you want me to give you the CliffsNotes version, let me know.
Funny not funny.
I love you.
Funny not funny.
I know. Too bad you’re bad at sex.
OMG.
I’ll check in with you once you have some time to recover.
It’s nice having the lines of communication open again.#happysigh.
I understand his relationship with Fay now, too. Even if her method was uncalled for, her point was strong. He didn’t truly know Fay or see her for who she was. He loved a chick who he thought was basically Marie Curie. Instead, Fay was a chick with a sick sense of humor and not that much commitment to science. Not to blame the whole breakup on Max’s caveman-level understanding of human emotion and women. Fay was complicit because she didn’t make herself known. I getit, though. She probably just figured it out. Been there, girl!
I still don’t know if I love Max, but at least he doesn’t know my mind better than I know it myself.
While I’m texting everyone I know and straightening out my life, I text Kobra. The old Mia might have tried to finagle some money out of him to take care of the debt. It wouldn’t be hard. Hell, he threw ten grand at me last time he saw me. The new Mia is going to work things a little differently.
Sorry about throwing all yourin the street. My bad! Still wanna go out?
You crazy bitch! But yeah, sure.
I will text with time and place. Be there or be square.
Kobra is such an idiot.
I call Denise to fill her in on my game plan.
“Denise, I assume you left me a message earlier about the check fraud,” I say like we’re talking about which Chinese restaurant has the best egg rolls. Great Wall, BTW.
“Why yes, Mia, I did,” she says, obviously amused that I think I’m in control. (I am in control, BTW.) “In fact, if you checked your voicemails, you’d find one from me waiting for you.”
“I hit rock bottom,” I say. “I don’t have enough cash for the bus. Would you meet me at the coffee shop on the corner of Ocean and Linden? I have an idea.”
“Really?” she says.
“I think you’ll like it.” My voice is chipper. “I know you like coffee. All cops like coffee. My treat.”
“You’ve been watching too muchLaw & Order.And I don’t even want to know where you’re getting the money for my latte.”
“See you there, Denise!” I say brightly.
When Denise arrives half an hour later, she looks like she’s already had a day. I put a coffee and a croissant on my tab for her and then launch into my plan like I’m giving a PowerPoint presentation.
“I’m prepared to go to jail or do community service or probation—whatever. If that’s what happens, so be it, but I’d like to bargain my time down, preferably to nothing.”
“That’s nice to hear,” she says, sipping her coffee. The tone of her voice tells me that she doesn’t care how I feel about the consequences of my criminal activity. She’s going to like Kobra on a platter, though. I know it.
“I wrote some checks to a hot-air balloon company and Delta Airlines that I can’t cash. Kobra is a meth kingpin, which is a lot worse.” I describe what Crystal saw the other night and tell her I have a date with Kobra. “If I get you something you can use on him, will you let me out of the check fraud, or at least plea-bargain it down?”
“Mia, you should really have a lawyer for this. And the lawyer is supposed to talk to the prosecutor. This is not how it’s done.”
I shrug. “We can get it done this way, right?”
She sighs. “I think the idea is fine, if you can really pull it off. We can get the prosecutor to agree.”
