“So, I ran away. I figured that if I hid until I came of age, I could return to claim my inheritance and be gone before she has a chance to challenge it.” I winced. “It’s not the most solid plan, but it’s all I have. I can’t just pretend that I don’t have these feelings. How fair would it be to marry a woman when I couldn’t love her? No one deserves an empty marriage.”
“Many people marry for titles, especially the nobility. That being said, your aunt is a monster. You should have the right to love whomever you want.”
“But if I don’t marry, the line will end with me. That is my aunt’s main complaint.”
Bram nodded and stroked his chin. “She does have a point. If only there was a way to satisfy her without resorting to turning your back on who you are.”
“There’s not. And now that I think of it, that’s probably what Henri wants: to wed a woman and have me as his lover. Appearances would be satisfied, as would his own desires. It’s rather brilliant, really, especially if he can pull it off with someone as close as his valet.” I couldn’t help the venom from leaking into my voice and put a hand to my head. “I’m sorry, Bram. You didn’t deserve to be lied to, and you didn’t need to shoulder this burden. It was of my own making.”
“I’m happy to be in your confidence,” Bram assured me. “It means that you trust me. I wanted your trust very much.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“And I don’t regret running away. If I hadn’t, I would never have gotten to know you.”
Bram watched me for a moment, and then straightened a document on his desk. “Well, I can assure you that this will be our little secret.”
My heart sank. I’d been hoping for more of an enthusiastic response. It kind of hurt, but he had said that he’d wanted my trust. At least he didn’t hate me, which could have very well been the case. Yet it did make me wonder if he would feel comfortable alone in a carriage with me again. Was I making this situation worse? Was I scaring away my one friend in this corner of the country?
Bram cleared his throat. “If Count Morano tries anything to force you to obey his …wishes,come to me. I’ll help if I can.”
“I appreciate that. More than you know.”
Bram nodded, then sighed as he regarded his watch. “I have to make a house call shortly. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s quite alright. Thank you for listening. And not hating me.”
“Emile,” Bram sighed. “I could never, ever hate you.”
I walked away from Bram with a little heartache, but I knew I could rely on him should I need someone. I wasn’t completely and utterly alone.
I turned my back as Henri began to disrobe. I distracted myself by smoothing out the wrinkles of his coat, a brown tweed that I thought would go well with his complexion. Annette had helped me press his dress shirt earlier, one of many lessons I was sure to receive from her. But she hadn’t made a big deal out of it. She’d had her own duties to perform and was efficient in showing me what had to be done.
“I’m afraid my sister is jealous she couldn’t borrow you tonight,” Henri said, suddenly beside me. “I think poor Annette seems second-rate now, by comparison.”
He was shirtless. My eyes drank in his broad shoulders and corded arms, zeroing in on his naked chest, dark hair spread across it in the most enticing ways. Of course he noticed my stare, and smiled knowingly as I handed him his dress shirt. I kept my gaze trained across the room as he slipped into it. I wouldn’t give him any encouragement if I could help it. But that body of his made it very hard.
“Help me?”
I turned to find him buttoned into his dress shirt and holding the tweed coat out to me. Stepping up behind him, I slid his arms into the sleeves. I walked around to face him, trying not to notice the glimpse of hair at his collarbone before I fastened the last button at the top and helped him with his cravat. He watched me all the while, even as I tried to ignore him.
“Thank you,” he said softly, and his eyes were so tender that I found myself fussing over his coat, running my hands over it to smooth it out, and … lingering.
I forced myself to step away and cleared my throat. “You look stunning, my lord. The girls will be swooning over you.”
“As if I care,” he said, and snorted, turning to a mirror to give himself one last look. “You do good work, Dupont.”
I nodded and we stared at each other for a moment before Henri swallowed and turned away. “I should get down there,” he said. “Can’t be late to my own ball.”
“Couldn’t have that,” I agreed.
Henri chuckled. “And if you don’t mind, maybe duck in to see how my sister is faring? She gets anxious at these things.”
I watched him leave before sitting on the edge of his bed. What had that been? Dressing him had been so intimate, almost too much. My heart still hadn’t slowed from the closeness of him, and what that had stirred within me. Perhaps I was thawing toward him?
I shook my head, reminding myself that I was hisemployee.Even if I did find him attractive, I couldn’t act on it. I wouldn’t have that sort of existence. And anyway, in six months’ time, I would be leaving Château le Blanc behind, and Henri with it. If not sooner.
