“Hey,” Bram was suddenly at my side, a hand on my shoulder. “What is it?”
“I’m worried about my job,” I blurted, embarrassed to find that I was crying.
Bram handed me a kerchief from his pocket, and I ran it over my eyes, blinking back more tears. “It’s silly, really.”
“Hey, it’s not silly. Please. I’m here to listen.”
I held his kerchief out to him, but he waved it away. “You keep it.”
My mouth felt dry as I opened it. I didn’t know why I felt compelled to tell him the truth, but he wasn’t like Henri. Bram had been another victim of Henri’s selfishness, and he hadn’t been obligated to relate what was clearly a troubling exchange from his past to a relative stranger. He’d told me because he trusted me, and I should be able to return that trust. Maybe Bram would understand. He seemed so empathetic, the very opposite of Henri. On the other hand, Bram might find me revolting, turn his back on me, and I would never see him again, but was it really a friendship to begin with if he rejected me in such a way? All I knew was that I really,reallywanted to be able to talk to somebody about this.
“I became Count Morano’s valet. I didn’t want the position, but I couldn’t really refuse either. And then I found out it was because he likes me.” I licked my lips and watched Bram to gauge his reaction, but he looked more confused than anything.
“Of course he likes you. I’m sure everyone likes you.”
I blinked at him for a moment before shaking my head slowly. “No, I mean … he prefers the company of men. And he likesme.”
Bram looked startled but didn’t flinch. “Did he force himself on you?”
I stiffened. “What? No. He didn’t do anything. He said he wants to win my heart or something like that.” I reached out and touched Bram’s arm. “But you can’t tell anyone. Please.”
“Of course not,” Bram agreed, seating himself on the edge of his desk as he appeared to turn my predicament over. “How does that make you feel?”
I sighed. “Confused. Frustrated. I already told him no, but he wants me to think about it.”
“Well, you can’t let him coerce you.”
“I know, I know. I … I mean, I do find him attractive. I also like … men.” I winced as I said the words out loud, that I’d admitted such a startling truth. But Bram only nodded, as if he’d already known. “But I just … I don’t think I can be with him in the way he wants me to be.” I shrugged helplessly.
“Thank you for telling me that, Emile. That was very brave of you. And for now, if he seems content on trying to win you over, maybe you allow that while you look for employment elsewhere.”
I shook my head slowly. “No, that’s … that won’t work. The letter of recommendation I procured was a fake. Or rather, it was real, but it was written as a favor, and I can’t replicate that again. I don’t think I’ll be able to find other work.”
Bram frowned. “Emile. You gave them the name Dupont, didn’t you? St. Aubert is your true surname.”
“Yes.” I let out a shaky breath. “Yes. I’m in hiding.”
“From whom?”
I stood, unable to remain idle while confessing. It felt good to have this out, but it also made me nervous to admit these things. Trusting someone was hard. Though I wanted desperately to trust Bram. “My aunt. When my father died, I inherited everything as his sole heir.”
Bram squinted at me. “And that wasn’t a good thing?”
I began to pace. “No. Well, yes and no. I’m sorry, Bram. I wanted to tell you from the beginning. I just couldn’t. I had to keep my head down and bide my time until I come of age in six months. Then my aunt won’t be in charge of my finances. They’ll be mine and I can collect them and … I don’t even know. Somehow, I’ll be able to escape her clutches.”
Bram held up his hands. “Whoa, slow down. Who is your aunt?”
I hesitated. “Madame Cheron. She was my father’s sister. She’s just … she’s terrible, Bram. I think she resents that my father left everything to me, even though she has her own money.”
Bram walked around his desk and sank back into his chair, assessing me over his steepled fingers. The scrutiny made me shift uneasily. “Why are you so afraid of your aunt, Emile? I feel like I’m missing something. What’s the worst she could do? Withhold your inheritance?”
I released a loud sigh as I returned to my chair. “Worse. She threatened to have me committed to an asylum.”
His eyebrows shot up. “On what grounds?”
I looked back at him glumly. “Deviancy. She found out that I like men. And if I don’t renounce my ways and marry before I turn eighteen, she will see her threat through.”
“Then she will inherit your father’s estate in your stead.” Bram shook his head. “Devious.”
