“Think long and hard about this. I just want us to act on what we’re feeling. Our impulses. Our desires. I don’t care what society says about love between two men, we deserve to experience it.”
A flash of anger boiled over inside me. He spoke of love and twisted it to suit his needs, and I couldn’t take his hypocrisy any longer. I set my jaw as I met his eyes. “What feelings? I don’t know you and I’m not sure I even want to.”
“Get out of my sight,” Henri growled. “I don’t know why you’re denying this for us. And do me a favor and keep this between us. You are a servant, after all, and I wouldn’t want word to get around that could be detrimental to you.”
I stared at him, reading into his words, until he lifted a finger and pointed at the door. “Think it over. And get out.”
I didn’t even bother to bow in my haste to leave his bedroom. I shut the door behind me hard and leaned against it, shaking with indignation. Did he really think he could just …orderme to fall in love with him? Did he really expect acommandcould thaw a heart? It was shocking. It wasunthinkable.
This was the whole reason for the promotion, I realized with dawning horror. Fournier hadn’t been inept. Henri had merely wanted me to be his secret companion. What had I gotten myself into here? What were my options? Where would I go if I had to leave? Henri was just as callous and volatile as his uncle. I couldn’t care for a man who would try to manipulate me. Frankly, I would be justified in relieving these arrogant men of their wealth. After a proposal like that, I wasowedsome recompense.
I stumbled back to my room in a daze. As I sank onto my bed, I tried to see it from Henri’s perspective. He had to feel trapped. Society wouldn’t allow him to follow his heart. I knew how that felt perfectly well. He was desperate and … lashing out. Perhaps once he’d had some time to calm down, he would realize he was being unreasonable. But could I take that chance? Could I justhopethat he would change his mind? He was my employer, and he had all the power here.
My plan, it seemed, had backfired on me spectacularly.
I splashed cold water on my face and rubbed the crust from my eyes the next morning. I looked above my water basin to the mirror, at the face of a boy who was in way over his head. I wasn’t sure what to do, and I had no one to talk to about this. I just wished that Henri would recognize that he couldn’tforceme into a relationship. Maybe after sleeping on it, he would have come to that conclusion and would give me some space.
There was quite a bustle in the château as I made my way to Henri’s bedroom. I sidestepped a troop of boys marching flowers through the hall, wondering what could be going on, when I recalled someone mentioning the ball. I just hadn’t realized it was today. Montoni would be hosting, of course, thus the bedlam as orders could be heard ringing throughout the great house.
When I stood outside of Henri’s room, I stared at the door for a moment, hesitant to venture inside. Dreading it. But there was no point in putting off the inevitable. I gave two sharp knocks before I opened the door and stepped inside, bracing myself for an angry count.
“Ah, there you are. How do I look?”
I paused in the doorway before slowly closing it behind me. Henri was already dressed in a gray coat and riding boots. I was surprised, but also relieved. He seemed much more rational at the moment. “You look dashing, my lord. Are you going riding?”
Henri glanced at me briefly as he adjusted his collar in a mirror. “Yes, with my sister. All of this …chaosis unsettling. I would rather be away until the ball this evening. We’re going to ride into town and have lunch at a pub. We won’t be back until after four to change.”
“Very good,” I said, watching his reflection. Our eyes met. “You didn’t wait for me to help you change this morning. Am I to … help you this evening?”
Henri sighed and put a hand to his head. He turned toward me, eyes closed for a moment before he regarded me. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Dupont. I know that dressing me makes you uneasy, so I’m trying to assuage some of that until we get to know one another better. I realize that I came across as … aggressive last night. And harsh. I’m actually rather embarrassed by my actions. I’m not used to being turned down.”
His words came out in a rush and by the time I’d processed them, Henri was standing before me, clasping my hands. “Please forgive me,” he said. “I don’t want to start on the wrong foot with you.”
I blinked stupidly for a moment before nodding. “Of course, my lord.”
“Henri,” he corrected.
“Henri. I’m glad you feel that way.”
Henri smiled, a charming smile that made my heart flutter briefly. “Look. I’m not giving up on you. I just came to the realization that I have to win you over. I want you towantto be with me. And that won’t happen if I force it. Please … give me a chance, Dupont. That’s all I ask. Take your time. Observe. You’ll see that I’m worthy of your affection.”
Henri was still holding my hands, and I gently pried mine away from him, a smile glued to my face. I wasn’t sure how to take this earnest entreaty. Was he trying to manipulate me? Or did he mean what he said? My initial impressions of Henri were of a shrewd, calculating man. Warm and handsome, but cunning. I wasn’t sure I could trust him, and last night had nearly convinced me of that. Now I wasn’t sure. But I could do as he asked and observe, even if I didn’t think anything would come of it. After all, this could be the opportunity I’d been waiting for. If I went along with this, I could gain Henri’s confidence and be in a better position to uncover Montoni’s secrets. I just had to play my cards right.
“Okay,” I said, “but I can’t promise that I will warm to this.”
“You will,” Henri said confidently, winking at me and patting my shoulder. My heart stuttered again, like a traitor. “Take the afternoon off. Do whatever you like, so long as you’re back by four.”
“Thank you,” I said, genuinely pleased by his generosity.
Henri grinned as he swept past, leaving me standing in the middle of his room, gazing after him dumbly.
Since I had leave, I decided to go into town. I wanted to thank Monsieur Valancourt for the opera, and I felt like I’d been too tired to properly thank him when he’d dropped me off. I figured that I could offer to buy him lunch to show my appreciation.
Plus, it would give me an excuse to see him again.
I felt apprehensive as I approached his house, just off the main street. I wasn’t sure why I was nervous, but butterflies gathered in my stomach. What if he hadn’t cared for our time together and politely put me off? I wasn’t sure I could bear it.
I paused at the corner to gather my courage to face Bram, when I noticed a man gazing at me from across the street. I started as I realized it was Count Montoni. Straightening, I began to lift my arm in a wave, before realizing that the count was not looking at me at all, but rather at a shop ahead of me.
