“I’m going to shake him till he gets whiplash,” I said.
He cracked up laughing. “Do that. And tell him we miss him.”
72
I took a deep breath, tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and rang the doorbell again.
Nothing. Not a single noise.
Across the hall, the door opened, and a guy came out with a trash bag in his hand. I knew him. We’d run into each other many times coming in and out. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey.”
As he passed by me on his way to the elevator, I rang the doorbell again, and he told me, “Lucas is away. He won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“He asked me to keep an eye out for some packages for him.”
“Got it…” I bit my lip. “Did he say where he was going?”
“His parents’ place. They’ve got some celebration or other.”
He must have been able to see the disappointment on my face as I stepped away and said, “Thanks.”
“No worries. You going down?”
“Yeah.”
We said goodbye to each other outside and I started walking back to the hotel. I felt as if my life consisted of junk that I was constantlytrying to put in order only to always have someone step in and knock it all over again.
And I was tired of the disorder. Tired of going round and round. Tired of getting stuck in dead ends and wasting my time on winding roads that took me away from the things I had to face.
My fears. The fear of a broken heart.
That fear that makes us wound ourselves, because sometimes running away from what we really want is easier. Resigning ourselves to loss. Pretending what happens to us is just fate.
What idiots we can be!
Well, I was tired of being an idiot. I was tired of being stupid, being scared.
So I caught the first taxi that came past.
Lucas’s family house was in a development in Alcobendas. I’d never been there, but I remembered the address because he’d mentioned it to me. I clutched my bag as I looked through the window at the empty streets.
“Would you mind waiting for me here?” I asked the driver.
“No problem,” he said.
I got out with my heart pounding and stopped in front of a tall iron gate with a wall on either side of it. I couldn’t see what lay past it, apart from the tops of trees swaying in the cold November wind. I pushed a button on the call box and a woman responded on the other line, “Hello?”
“Yes, hi… Good evening, I…I’m looking for Lucas. Is he in?”
“Lucas? Yes, that’s my grandson.”
This was his grandmother? The thought made me grin, and I replied, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Did you bring cake?”
