Dante and Giulio didn’t respond, but their expressions said more than their words ever could. My voice cracked as I reached the point in my story where Lucas came to find me at the station. Dante reached out and held my hand, squeezing it tight and giving me all the comfort I needed just then.
“I haven’t heard from him since,” I concluded.
“Oh, Maya…” Giulio said.
“I’m fine!”
“You’re not,” he responded. “And none of this is fine, either. And you can’t just leave it this way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes we need someone to give us a little push so we can make the necessary change. Lucas doesn’t need a push, though. He needs someone to shake him until he opens his eyes. Did you do that? Because if not, maybe you should have.”
I didn’t like that. I didn’t like the suggestion, or the turn the conversation had taken, or the doubts I was starting to feel. Had I not done everything possible to change the situation? Was it possible that I’d just been waiting for Lucas to react on his own?
“What are you getting at?” I asked.
“Maya, Dante and I are here with you right now because your mother found me and forced me to talk to her. She gave me things to think about. She made me face reality. When I hesitated, Dante pushed me. I would never have done it on my own. Lucas is trapped again. Maybe he doesn’t have the strength to run away a second time. Not without someone there to motivate him.”
I grunted. This was so frustrating! I’d gotten out of one mess and back into another.
Dante squeezed my hand, and I looked him in the eyes and asked if he felt the same.
“I think Giulio’s right,” he said. “I know Lucas. I’ve been his boss and his friend for two years. He’s not as smart as you think.”
We both laughed.
The train stopped at Atocha. We got our bags and left from the main exit. When we were stopped in Murcia, Dad—could I call him that now?—had made a reservation at a nearby hotel. We checked in, dropped off our bags, and went for a walk. Dante wanted to get to know Madrid.
I called Matías and asked him to come meet us. I wanted himto meet my father, and I needed to see him anyway to say goodbye before I left again.
He showed up right away, with Rubén.
I tried to be good company, take part in the conversation, enjoy the time we had together. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t even concentrate for more than a few seconds. Lucas was casting a shadow over me. He had been since we got off the train, and my doubts and dark thoughts clouded my mood.
Late in the afternoon, we said our goodbyes and walked back to the hotel, taking our time, stopping to look in the shop windows, snapping photos in all the places that awakened memories for Giulio.
I heard my name, “Maya! Maya!”
“Yes?” I answered distractedly. I had gotten lost in my thoughts again. Dante and Giulio asked if I was all right, and I smiled and told them I was, but it felt like a dagger was twisting inside me. So I stopped and corrected myself, “No, sorry. I’m not all right at all.”
Giulio seemed frightened, and hurried to put an arm around me. “What is it?”
“What if you’re right?” I asked. “What if I was just sitting there waiting for him to take a step when I needed to be the one to help him to do so?”
“Parlate di Lucas?” Dante asked.
I nodded. Of course we were talking about Lucas. My father told me, “You’ve still got time to fix it.”
I stared him in the eye. And what I saw there quelled my fears and calmed my nerves. I could feel his touch supporting me, telling me I could trust him. Determination and self-assurance flowed from him.
It was true. I needed to resolve this. Or at least I needed to try.
“You’re right. I can’t just leave things this way. I can’t go back to Italy without opening up to him completely.”
Giulio held me close, smiling… Was it proudly? I didn’t know.I’d never seen that expression on anyone in my family before. But I loved it, and I loved feeling him so close. We had a lot of lost hugs to make up for.
“Are you going to give him that push?” Giulio whispered.
