“And I’m not sure Lucas would agree with you being here by yourself.”
She smiled mockingly at me and pushed her hair out of her face. It was impossible not to notice her fresh, expensive manicure.
“I hope you’re aware that you’re just some girl he’s met. And this used to be my home.”
She’d said that to hurt me, and it worked. I felt as if a knife had been plunged into my stomach. “You said it,” I replied. “Itusedto be your home. It’s not anymore.”
Her nostrils flared and her tongue poked from the corner of her mouth. She shook her head and said softly, “Don’t get too comfortable here.” Then she turned and walked to the elevator. I pushed the door closed and hurried over to the window, where I saw her crossing the street and stopping on the opposite sidewalk, where she remained, waiting for Lucas. It was obvious she wouldn’t leave until she saw him.
I stood behind the curtains, the pressure in my chest making it hard to breathe. Lucas appeared a few seconds later, as though summoned. He looked up at the building, walking quickly, jacket slung over his shoulder, holding his computer bag in his other hand.
Then he saw Claudia and stopped and she ran over to him. I watched, hypnotized, as they talked. Lucas stepped back every time she tried to get close to him. Their conversation stretched on, and at times it seemed they were arguing, and Claudia started flapping her arms.
Then Lucas raised his hands in surrender and nodded. After a few more words, he took out his phone and typed something. Seconds later, my phone buzzed. They walked off together. I wanted to scream.
I closed my eyes, but the image still stung. I tried not to be scared.I knew I could trust Lucas, but we had never really talked about our relationship, and we definitely hadn’t placed a label on it. I had taken for granted that we were exclusive, that we respected each other too much for games.
But now I felt like I was losing him. All I knew of his past was what he had told me. I thought that was enough, but now I had the suspicion that the way he’d let his family bully him and bend him to their will was happening again. They were good at manipulating him. I’d seen that in the two weeks since I’d been there, and Lucas was going back to his old self. Always acting for them, not asking himself what he needed.
He was turning back into the very person he swore he’d never be again.
55
Lucas’s message was short and didn’t give any details.
Something came up, you go ahead. Send me the address and I’ll be there when I can.
That’s what I did. I sent the address. Just the address. No kind words, no reproaches, even if I was dying to say so much to him, and most of it wasn’t good. Maybe a part of me thought that he didn’t really deserve that. Maybe I too was letting myself be carried along, keeping my mouth shut, not complaining. Putting up with each setback. Accepting whatever happened. Just dealing with it, just getting by.
I rang the doorbell. My best friend opened up with a huge smile on his face. But then he looked over my shoulder and saw there was no one else there.
“You’re alone?”
“Something came up. Lucas is going to be late,” I responded as if it didn’t worry me a bit. Matías’s eyebrows rose. I hated him knowing me so well. I added, “Look, he may not even come, OK? His ex showed up to get him, and…”
Matías hugged me, and those words died against his chest. “It’s his loss. Fuck him. You’re the only one I care about.”
I gave him a smack, but I was grateful. As I peered into the living room, I saw Antoine sitting on the couch. “What is he doing here? You told me he wouldn’t be here.”
“He said he was going to hang out with friends, but they canceled. Anyway, hedoeslive here. It’s not like I can kick him out.”
“Fine.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“We talked at Rodrigo’s birthday, and it was all right. Don’t worry about it.”
“Great! Then get inside, I’m dying to introduce you to Rubén.”
Matías was right when he told me they had nothing in common. He and Rubén were polar opposites. And yet, if you looked at them closely, you could see they were really two halves that fit together effortlessly. Their differences complemented each other, and right away it was hard to imagine one without the other. They were perfect for each other, the way they shared everything: laughter, looks, caresses.
“They look good together, don’t they?” Antoine asked, taking a lemon cake out of the refrigerator.
“Matías looks happy.”
“I think he is. Will you pass me some plates?”
I opened the cabinet, grabbed a stack, laid them out on the table, and waited for Antoine to cut us each a portion. The doorbell rang, Matías scurried off, and a few seconds later, I heard Lucas’s voice. That irresistible voice. Rodrigo hurried into the kitchen. “Your guy’s here,” he said. “Antoine, do we still have some beer in the fridge?”
