“Sir, your phone.”
“You should listen to her or they’ll throw you off the plane.”
“Right. I’ll see you soon then, Pumpkin. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I hung up and looked at my phone, feeling nostalgic. It would be nice to live close to my brother and sister again. I dialed Frances, but it went straight to voicemail.
“Hey, Frances. I hope your sister’s better. Call me when you can. I need to tell you some things… I’ve decided to keep the house and the bookstore. I’m scared. I’m nervous, too, but something tells me this is what I need to do. Really, though, I wanted you to know I was back, and…I just want to talk to you. I love you, Frances. Take care, please.”
I smelled spices coming through the window. I looked at my watch: it was 1:30. There was nothing to eat in the house, so I threw my computer in my bag and headed out.
I’d put in my earbuds and was listening to music and making a list of things to do in my head. Correct my last few manuscripts, buy tickets for Toronto—the sooner, the better—deal with the inheritance papers…
I went into a takeout place and got a veggie sandwich with yogurt sauce before walking to the bookstore. The soft, late-summer breeze warmed my skin, and I smiled, feeling relieved—feeling like myself.“Someday” by We Are Harlot started playing. I loved that song, and I hummed it to myself along the way.
I stopped at the front door and just stood there for a long time, staring at my reflection in the glass before taking the key out of my purse and opening the door. My heart was pounding out of my chest.
I took one step, then another, gazing at nothing in particular, reabsorbing details I already knew from memory. The place seemed to be embracing me, welcoming me, and I touched the shelves, the antique cash register, the books piled on the tables, feeling the magic throbbing there. I could hear the rush of blood in my temples telling me what I already knew: this was my world.
There in my sanctuary, surrounded by calm and quiet, I cleared off a table and took out my laptop and food, and sat down, feeling bliss amid the scent of new books and lemon air freshener.
A knocking on the glass startled me. I looked up and saw Trey waving from outside. It was almost nighttime. I must have been sitting there for six hours, at least.
I opened the door and stepped aside to let him in. As soon as he’d crossed the threshold, he lifted me up and pressed his lips to mine. I was happy, but also nervous. Being there with him made our relationship so real that it almost scared me.
“Something wrong with your phone?” he asked.
“Were you calling me?”
“I’ve been calling you for hours. I wanted to take you to dinner.”
“Sorry. I usually keep it on silent when I’m working.”
He kissed me again and set me down, and I stumbled away, wondering if I would ever manage to keep ahold of myself with Trey around. He gave the shop a once-over.
“I like the place,” he said.
“I’ll need to make some changes and bring it up to date a bit. And I need to set up a little writing corner since I’ll be spending so much time here.”
“I could lend you a hand,” he said, then grabbed me, squeezing my buttocks. “Or two!”
“I love how romantic you are.”
His face changed to that of a little boy caught doing something wrong. I loved that, especially because I’d never seen him do it with anyone but me.
“I’ve never, uh… I’ve never had a serious relationship. Like with anyone. So I’m not sure if I know how to do it. How to, like, be romantic and say sweet nothings that sound like poetry. I can learn, though, I swear!”
Maybe he didn’t know, but he was a good guesser. I couldn’t imagine words that would have stirred me more.
“Being romantic is overrated. Someone slamming you against the wall and giving it to you has its charm.”
And in the blink of an eye, he had gotten to work. His body was tight against mine, holding me off the floor, his hips between my legs, his eyes looking sly but beautiful at the same time.
“That I can do,” he said.
I laughed—I couldn’t help it—and a warm feeling spread through my chest that was nothing like what I’d ever experienced before. I thought I had known what desire, pleasure, and love were… But I hadn’t, not until he showed me. You have to give everything, you have to feel that other person doing the same, striving to satisfy you even more than they want to satisfy themselves…
