His fingers moved slowly down my ribs to my waist and drew tiny figure eights on my hip. The symbol for infinity.
“Okay. So I’m sexy. I’m sweet as chocolate. And I can fuck like a god.”
“Exactly!” I shrieked. “Just own it! The whole world is thankful you exist.”
The game came to a stop there. I thought it was all funny, but he must have been starting to get uncomfortable, because he neededa moment before he spoke again. “Jesus,” he said finally, “you must think I’m completely fucking full of myself.”
“Not at all. You need to do something about thatfuckingmouth, though.” As he tickled me in response, I said, “Seriously though. You’re self-assured. I like that.”
“So what else do you like about me?”
“I like how everything’s just okay when I’m with you. You make me feel like everything’s possible.”
“What else?”
“I like how you look at me.”
“Like you were a drop of water and I was wandering thirsty through the desert?”
“Yeah. And I like the way you kiss.”
He bent over me and did it, slowly, softly. “I’m glad. Because I’d happily kiss you every day, every hour, every minute…every second.”
“And I love being in bed with you and talking. Or not talking.”
“Tell me more.”
I reached around and touched the small of his back, arching to bring him in closer to me. This was getting exciting.
“I love looking at you. Touching you. Feeling you.”
Trey’s phone buzzed just then, and I could see the light from it glowing on his face. He looked at it briefly, then put it away, holding me tight and burying his face in my neck. The phone buzzed again. And again.
“Couldn’t that maybe be important?” I whispered.
“It’s your brother,” he murmured. “He’s been writing me for days and I keep ignoring him.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to lie to him, and I don’t want to tell him I’m with you. Not until I’m sure.”
“Sure of what?” I held my breath.
“Sure of you,” he replied. “Sure of us.”
“Of me?”
“I can’t tell him I’ve lost my head over his sister and I don’t give a damn whether or not he likes it! Not until I’m sure this is real for you.”
“It’s real.”
“How do you know? What if everything you felt these past few days was just your imagination? Maybe everything is just you idealizing me. Like a pleasant dream. Maybe when you’re back in your routine and everything’s normal again, you’ll…”
I silenced him with a kiss and wrapped my legs around his hips. And in that kiss, I tried to encapsulate everything I felt for him. Everything in my heart, everything in my body and soul. I pushed him over and sat on top of him, pressing my forehead into his, mingling our breaths. I couldn’t see his face, but I kept my eyes open anyway, riding him back and forth. Deeper. Harder. I had to, I didn’t have the words to calm his uncertainties, so this was the only way I knew to tell him this was real.
Sometimes words don’t work, and we have to find another language to express ourselves. Especially when it matters. Especially when you need a person to know that what you have is forever. I used my lips, my skin, my hands, our moans to speak to him. My body shouted to him that I couldn’t imagine living a single day without him. And I could tell that his body was saying the same.
At some point I froze and collapsed on top of him, and I heard him singing to me. He stayed inside me as he held me tight, and I envisioned an entire film about the two of us divided into chapters. Perfect scenes. Intense dialogues. A happy ending, and an epilogue showing how everything stayed beautiful into eternity.
