‘And you haven’t filmed any of that video yet. You aren’t even serious about it; you’re just using it as a way to keep hanging out with Gabe. Have you started writing your essay?’
Well, no. But I wasn’t about to tell her that. Besides, there was more to the video than that. It had to be perfect, otherwise I’d stand out in all the wrong ways.Oh, here you go, admissions committee, here’s a boring, three-minute video you’re forced to watch about me making some donuts.Hell no. And Gabe was good at that stuff. It was just an added bonus that we got to hang out more while we were working on it.
‘Listen,’ Ava said, trying to put calm in her voice. ‘I’m saying I get it. You regret that you weren’t able to tell him back then what you know now – and I don’t want to make a mistake now that might make me unhappy later. And honestly, you really need to think about that, too. Because if you do want to go to La Mère, you need to get more serious about that than about trying to break up Gabe and his boyfriend.’
‘You know what?’ I said. ‘This isn’t about me. It’s aboutyougiving up everything you worked for because you had a pregnancy scaremonthsago! And you’re absolutely making the wrong decision.’
Shit.As soon as I said that I realized it was completely insensitive and wrong.
She narrowed her eyes. ‘So because it happened months ago, it means nothing? Is that it?’
‘No, that’s not what I mean.’
‘I think itiswhat you mean.Youthink it means nothing because it has nothing to do with you. And you know what, for once you’re right about something.Thathad nothing to do with you. You didn’t experience it; I did. But another thing that has nothing to do with you is my decision about my future. Let me say it again: it’s my future! And yes, something that happened “months ago” did change how I see my future. But you’re equating what I want from my life, and the hard work I put in, to the work you did and what you want from your life. And it’s not the same.’
‘I know it isn’t, and I’m sorry I said that thing about the pregnancy scare. But you did work hard, and I am talking about you working hard. You just want to throw that away?’
‘Tommy! This is what I’m talking about!Youthink I’m throwing my life away because you’re still looking at it as what you, personally, want with your future. I don’t see it as me throwing my life away. Can you really not get that?’
I couldn’t. If she didn’t want to go to Johns Hopkins, then what had been the point of studying so hard? Why had she spent her limited free time learning all she could about bioengineering or spent hours a day for a whole week last summer on a virtual science summit for high schoolers?
She stared at me and shook her head. ‘Just take me home.’
Without another word, she got in the car and slammed the door shut.
We didn’t speak the entire ride home. But the longer the quiet lasted, the more frustrated I got. Mainly because we had always understood each other. But I couldn’t understand this. When we reached Ava’s house, she got out without saying goodbye. I rolled down the window and shouted.
‘Okay, night! See you at school on Monday.’
She flipped me off but didn’t look back.
‘Good evening, everyone!’ I said to my new six-top, my third in the first hour – thanks, Morgan. At first I was worried Ava had told her about our argument, but everyone seemed to be getting slammed tonight. It had been five days since our fight, and Ava was still avoiding me. When I texted, she either responded with reactions only or flat-out ignored me. At school she barely acknowledged me with a raised-eyebrow ‘hey’ in the hallway. The more she gave me the cold shoulder, the angrier I got. I was at least trying to move past the fight. She was still stewing about it.
‘How are we all feeling?’ I asked.
The woman directly across the table from me – Mrs Murphy – shrugged but didn’t look up from her menu. ‘Woke up today, so I’m feeling better than Marjorie Flanagan.’
I cringed internally but kept my polite smile on. ‘Well, that’s a good way of looking at it.’
RIP, Mrs Flanagan.
It was always a risk asking how the residents were doing. Some of them remained stoic and private, while others would tell you every inappropriate thing that happened to their aging bodies. Still others didn’t fear death and would make a joke about the most recent resident to die.
‘Why do I work here?’ I asked Gabe once I was safe in the kitchen.
‘So you can see my smiling face every night.’
My stomach, lungs and heart all gathered in the center of my chest like they were whispering to each other,Did you hear that? He knows! And he doesn’t care! He likes us, too! *Squeal!* Whatever the verbal version of ‘UwU’ is!
I tried to hide my blushing face in a flurry of salad and soup gathering. We never talked about Vic showing up at the diner on Friday. In fact, when Gabe texted me a few soundtrack samples for the background music of my video – almost all from theRatatouillefilm score and a movie calledAmélie– he didn’t even mention it.
When I got to my section, Natalie was leaving the table that had just been seated. My heart leaped as she smiled at me and went up to the front service station. This was it. This was the test she had been waiting to spring on me.
Seeing Judge Fredericks, a spry eighty-year-old Black woman with short, stylish gray hair, sitting at my table with her friends was a dead giveaway. Judge Fredericks only ever sat at table twelve in the formal dining room.
She would never request to sit in the casual dining room unless Natalie went to her and asked her to sit in my section. It made sense, too. Judge Fredericks was one of the few residents who didn’t hate Natalie.
I quickly grabbed the water pitcher and headed over to fill her glass. ‘Good evening, Judge.’
