August pulls off a piece and feeds it to Landon while we all stare in disgust at their cutesy display of affection.
“That almost made me throw up my dinner, but I have a stomach of steel,” Asmodeus says. “I got that stomach of steel after I ate berries on day three of my forty-two-day journey in the wilderness. Shit myself nearly to death.”
“Were there adults anywhere watching this?” I ask, oddly curious.
“Eh, probably. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t there to save us if something happened, but they wanted to observe us to see what our capabilities were. The guy watching me must have gotten bored because I think he forgot to come back after day four. But really, how much fun is it watching someone shit themselves nearly to death?”
“That’s when he should have taken youto a hospital,” I say.
“We didn’t believe in hospitals. They treated us like horses. Break a leg and they take you out back and—I’m joking, I’m joking… I think. I actually don’t know what happened to the ones who didn’t fit the bill. Landon, what happened to your meat?”
“I don’t know,” Landon answers, even though he undoubtedly consumed it during Asmodeus’s story.
“Ha, you’re hilarious. Alright, anything you don’t want to get dewy, let’s hang up high,” Asmodeus says. “Anything with water resistance, we’ll use for bedding. Nights get cooler than you think, so double up.”
Landon uses his telekinesis to hang his bag off a branch. The branchimmediatelysnaps from the weight, and Landon nearly perishes when the books almost hit the ground. I grabwhat I need and hang up the rest as Asmodeus opens his bag, and I watch in fascination while he pulls out chocolate bars, marshmallows, and an entire box of graham crackers.
Landon, who seems to have found a branch sturdy enough to hold his library, turns around to see what Asmodeus is doing and gasps.
“You… you made me eat bunbun and you hadfood?” he screeches. It’s such a loud noise it even makes the crickets go quiet.
“I never told you I didn’t have food. And everyone knows that when you camp, you need to eat s’mores,” he says as he pops a marshmallow on a stick and roasts it to perfection while Landon gapes at him.
“You little shithead, you’re going to pay for that,” he says as he tries to grab Asmodeus in a headlock. Asmodeus turns invisible and moves with such speed that Landon crashes to the ground.
“NoTouchy, I’m going to touch you so fucking hard,” Landon growls since Landon refuses to call Asmodeus “Untouchable” as he claims he should be called.
I can hear the box of graham crackers jostling all around while Asmodeus flees from Landon’s wrath.
“Give me the food before you drop it,” I say, holding my hands out. Asmodeus switches off his invisibility before he drops it into my lap. Landon seems to think he’s gotten a hold of Asmodeus until Asmodeus flips him over and tosses him right on August’s lap with ease.
“Why… why was that a little bit sexy?” Landon asks as August cradles him like a child.
“Was it? Should I be concerned?” August asks.
“I would be,” Asmodeus says before coming back to me. “Did you make yourself a s’more?”
“I… don’t… know how,” I admit.
Asmodeus gasps. “Ellison… doesn’t know something? You mean this wasn’t written in your little note of things we were doing this weekend? Rule one: Don’t get more than ten feet from each other at all times. Rule two: Recognize all forms of plant life that can cause reactions such as poison oak, poison ivy?—”
“You read my rules?” I ask in surprise.
“I told you I did,” he says, taking the marshmallow he was making before Landon showed up and popping it in his mouth, then starting another.
“I assumed you were joking… for obvious reasons.”
“I never joke.”
“Riiight,” I say as he cooks the marshmallow with one hand and prepares the graham crackers and chocolate with the other. He smacks the marshmallow down on them and pulls it free from the stick before holding it for a few seconds so it can cool off.
“Open up,” he instructs as he aims it toward my mouth.
“I can feed myself,” I assure him.
“I want to be here for your moment of ecstasy,” he says, not remembering when he’d nearly gagged when August did this very same thing to Landon.
“This makes me want to never eat a s’more.”
