“Technically, it’s not my fault he got mauled. I told him that he should shit in front of me so I could watch his back, but he wanted some privacy. See what privacy got him? Near death with his pants down around his ankles. So I finished out the trial alone.”
“And… you think this is… normal?” I ask.
Asmodeus looks at me and then smiles. “Hey, I know how to feed us and start a fire, so it wasn’t all for nothing! Aren’t you going to eat?”
I stare at the meat and do my best to pretend it’s chicken or pork or beef. After all, how am I supposed to lead the group if I’m going to toss down the stick and beg to have a third of that fun-size Snickers bar? I enviously watch while Landon and Lex try to cut it perfectly down the middle.
Lex nibbles on his half as Landon pops the whole thing in his mouth and then whines. “It’s not enough. I need more! I burned so many calories coming up here!”
“Did you?” August asks.
Landon’s brutal eyes turn onto his boyfriend. “What’s that, my sweets?”
“I mean… you sure did!”
After I’ve become mentally prepared, I bite down, ready to spit it out, but it surprisingly tastes quite good.
“Why’s this so good?” August asks between bites as he quickly eats. I guess he’s as brave as I am.
“August… I loved you so much,” Landon says.
August freezes. “Loved?”
“You probably aren’t going to survive,” Landon cries. “My love for you… it’s in my heart, my head, and my loins.”
“He wouldn’t have made it an hour in the wilderness,” Asmodeus concludes.
“This is actually really good,” I say.
“Actually?” Asmodeus asks. “You act like you had doubts.”
“Because I did.”
“Ha, you’re hilarious. Do you want more? I can murder another.”
“No, this is plenty. Landon, it’s really not bad,” I say as Zacia comes over to me and begs for a bite with her huge eyes staring deep into my soul. I stare back at her before pulling a piece free and handing it to her.
“I could never,” Landon insists. “I will go cuddle my books and starve.”
“It does smell really good,” Lex says as he eyes it.
“Lex, no! Don’t go to the dark side! I don’t want to be the only one of my friends left alive tomorrow morning! All I’ll have left is my family and I can’tonlyhave my family. Do you know how scary that would be?”
Lex closes his eyes while he nibbles off the smallest piece. I have absolutely no idea how he’d ever be able to taste it, it’s such a miniscule amount, but he must decide that it’s okay enough that he’ll try a little more.
“Why is this actually good?” Lex asks.
Landon gasps. “Lex, not you too!”
“Just try it, Landon. Pretend it’s a cheeseburger. You know, without the cheese, and… only… a different type of bun involved,” Lex encourages him.
Landon doesn’t look convinced, but then August smiles at him. “Will you try a bite just for me?”
“You know I can’t turn you down when you look at me like that,” Landon says. “I burned so many calories and I’m so hungry. I’m really hungry.”
“Just try it.”
“But… I…”
