“Ooh la la,” Landon says, very deadpan.
“Like where would you have to be in life to decide to do this?” Lex asks while he eyes the ball. “I think we’ve all been miserable fuckers at some point in our lives, but have any of you ever decided, ‘I’m going to wind some yarn around a ball and charge people ten dollars apiece to see it’?”
“Jesus, my mom paid ten dollars for us to come in here?” Landon asks.
“No, I think she used the same story she’s using on the police officer to get us in free,” Lex says. “I heard her talking to the owner when I was getting out of the SUV to open the hatch.”
“I will pay for us,” I say, horrified that I’m currently staring at some massive ball of yarn for free. Honestly, it feels like a rip-off, but I also can’t walk away without paying.
“It’s starting to look a little moldy,” Lex comments as he eyes it.
“Does it do anything else?” Brandon asks. “Like… I thought it’d do something else.”
“What else do you think a ball of yarn can do, Brandon? Did you think it’d sing you happy birthday?” Landon asks.
Brandon’s eyes go wide. “Ooh, we should come back here for my birthday!”
“We drove forty minutes for this… and you think we should come back here?” Landon asks.
“I sure do!” And then we all watch while he trips over a sign stating how far away we should stand from the “spectacle” and face-plants right into the moldy ball. The ball breaks off its stand and comes rolling right toward Baker.
“No! I don’t want to die this way,” he cries as Asmodeus slides in front of the ball and shoots it… for some reason.
Seeing as a single bullet doesn’tstopthe ball, Landon picks it up with his mind and quickly slams it back down on its stand.
“Fucking hell, Brandon! How thick is your skull that you literally broke it off its stand?” Landon asks while he lets go of the ball that immediately begins to roll off. “Hmm…”
Asmodeus goes, “Huh…”
“I love hanging out with you guys. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and confident that I am normal,” Lex says.
“Don’t lie to yourself, Lex, if you were normal, you wouldn’t be friends with us,” Landon barks.
“Just… rotate it. There’s probably a spot where it’ll sit flat,” August says, trying to be helpful.
Brandon waves his hand like he has a great idea. “You know what would be funny? If we put Lex’s wig on top! That’d be hilarious.”
“Brandon, help instead of looking useless!” Landon snaps.
“Since we already broke it, do you think I could take it home with me? And then I could charge people to come see it and I’d be so rich I’d be able to take Paisley out to a movie!”
“The owner is coming out,” Asmodeus says, and Landon slaps the ball down.
“It’s facing the wrong way; the red side was facing out when we walked up,” I say.
“What? There’s red on all sides!” Landon cries as he tries twisting it.
“Flip it.”
Landon flips it the wrong way.
“The other way!”
“How many ways can you flip a ball?”
“Here, let me help,” August offers while he starts rotating the ball.
“No, it’s this way,” Asmodeus says, stepping in just as the owner turns the corner and Landon slams it down on top of Asmodeus, flattening him. Asmodeus immediately turns invisible but I’m not quite sure it was fast enough because theman stares at the yarn with much suspicion, almost like he could have possibly seen the body splatted beneath it.
