“Boo.”
“Also, one of the villains is a guy who can turn invisible. We don’t know if it’s the one we’re looking for, but there’s a possibility it is,” Valerie continues.
“You mean this guy right here?” I ask as I point to the guy who is practically hanging over her shoulder so he can listen in. I grab him in a headlock and press my gun against his head. He’s so startled he drops his invisibility for a moment.
Valerie hesitates. “Yes… that guy.”
“Awesome,” I say before I begin hauling him into the mall.
“W-What the fuck are you doing?” he cries as he tries to wiggle free, but I punch him with my gun.
Valerie looks ready to tear out her hair. “What the fuck are you doing? We need to arrest him! Read him his rights! His rights, Deus!”
“You have the right to be used as cannon fodder,” I declare as I drag him through the front door.
He tries turning invisible, but it’s not like I can’t see him, so I simply tighten my grip on his throat. “I’m going to blow a hole in your buddies’ heads if you don’t come along.”
“August, isn’t he so fun?” Landon asks. “I’m so glad I found him. He just really makes these things worth going to.”
“Is… Is… Landon, I don’t think this is how we’re supposed to do any part of this,” August says, but still he follows me. “Do you know how many classes I took on the proper way to apprehend villains? How to talk to them. Their rights…”
I shrug. “The only right they have is getting a first-class ticket down to hell.”
“Asmodeus, listen to your boss!” Ellison orders.
“You’re the only person I want to listen to when you call me your sugar daddy,” I say.
“Isn’t Ellison the rich one?” Landon asks.
“I would think, but if they’re actually paying Deus those invoices… he might be the rich one,” Lex comments.
“I feel like maybe we have more important matters to discuss,” August says. “We need to save the hostages. I have an idea of how we can compromise with the villains. Where’s the speaker room?”
“Ooh, good idea, we could blast boss music as we go into the room,” I realize.
“No… so we can try to explain the situation and get the hostages free,” August says, sounding strangely exasperated.
Landon asks, “Could we play the audiobook I’m listening to over the speaker so I can still listen while we grudgingly do stuff? I’m at a really good part but my phone can’t play it loud enough to hear it over the whining hostages.”
“I really do question whether I’m with villains or heroes half of the time,” Ellison says.
August calls Valerie who puts an employee on the line that tells us where to reach the security room we’re hoping to go to, but when we get there, I don’t expect someone to already be inside.
Her head snaps up from where she’d been staring at her phone instead of the security monitors that would have told her we were coming. Like there we are on screen where I can see Landon trying to discreetly read a book on his phone—which he hates doing but will resort to during desperate times.
“Fuck,” she says as she lifts her hand and water rapidly begins to flood the room. She dives down into it before I can shoot her and moves swiftly through it and out into the hallway while the water rushes up to our waists.
“Wait, Veronica! You forgot to save me!” the guy I’m holding cries.
“Waterboarding made easy,” I say as I dunk his head under the water. His arms start making unique windmill movements.
“I don’t think that’s called waterboarding, that would be classified as drowning, and why are you doing that?” Ellison asks.
I lift his head up. “You ready to listen to me?”
“Yes! I was before! I haven’t even fought against you yet!” he cries. At least I washed his tears away.
“Who is your leader?” I ask.
