I reach over and grab both of his shoulders. “You… my dear friend… are going to worry yourself into an early grave. Now stay with Valerie.”
Before I can say more, I hear people chanting and look over at the ruckus out of curiosity. There’s a man standing on the hood of someone’s car facing the group of onlookers. “This is why supers should be placed under control. They’re manipulative, cruel, and unnatural. There should be regulations in place to keep our families safe. They are the reason why we have to fear every time our children, our parents, and our loved ones leave home! Without supers, our lives would be safer!”
“Do you want me to silence him?” I ask Valerie.
Ellison sighs and turns me away. “I’m pretty sure silencing a protester as vocal as him would be the fuel they need.”
“There are more ways than violence to silence a man. But fine, fine. Valerie… I have this for you.”
I tear off my newest invoice that states the following:
$42,000-Ellison babysitting
$399.14-To cover trauma caused by Ellison refusing to allow me to eat on the couch
$292.25-Supplies for Ellison’s “long cat”
$2,111.30-Trauma caused by seeing Valerie’s face
Total: $44,802.69
When I hand it to Valerie, she glances at it, rips it up into little shreds, and blows it into my face.
I write up a new one and tack on a two percent “Valerie is being a dick” fee and a “don’t litter” fee before stepping in real close to whisper in her ear.
“I have saved your precious August from countless assassins set to take his life. I have nurtured your sweet baby boy so he canbloom by placing a bullet between the eyes of a man who was going to blow up him and his happy little family just last week when your own guards saw nothing during that picnic. I have made it so that little cherub of yours can enjoy his precious life, but I can walk away if you so choose to deny me my money.”
She takes the invoice and I smile, pleased with myself.
“Hold my ferret,” I say as I pass her off.
Landon is staring at me with his head cocked. “Did… did you just bully Valerie?”
“I and my demons can bully you too, if you like it so much,” I tell him as I boop his nose.
“August… I’m both scared and a little into it,” Landon says.
“I am too,” August replies.
“Has anyone else noticed that Valerie is wearing a skirt? Do we believe she’s been body-swapped?” I ask.
“I came from a wedding, thank you very much!” Valerie yells.
“Ah… Seems sketchy. Now wait right here,” I instruct as I start past the reporters to head for the building. Ellison grabs me by the collar and proceeds to choke me in front of all who are watching. “Not so rough, Daddy.”
“That’ll be the quote in tomorrow’s headline,” Lex says as he walks up. “I’m here… not quite sure why. I never really do anything. Moral support, I guess.”
“You’d look good in a cheerleader’s outfit.”
“I would, wouldn’t I?” he asks. “It’s the curse of looking good in everything I put on.”
Ellison sighs. “Valerie, what’s the rundown?”
“We’ve identified that there are at least five villains but possibly more. They’re holding a group of people hostage in the food court. They are asking for one of their buddies to be released from prison or they’re going to kill all hostages.”
“Can I just like… lift the roof off the building and pluck them out?” Landon asks.
“I would prefer you didn’t. We don’t know how many innocents are hiding inside the building that we can’t track,” she says.
