“I know everything. I am so talented that I can read an entire book and still follow along with a conversation.”
“He can,” August says. “I was watching a movie while he read the other night and was extremely confused. He lowered his book and told me everything that was going on and he wasn’t even watching it. He’d even figured out who the killer was!”
“Thank you. I would make a phenomenal serial killer,” Landon declares.
“I think you’re supposed to claim that you’d make a phenomenal detective,” Ellison says.
“You? A serial killer?” I burst out laughing. “You’d fail the second you’d try! You’d just fall over and give up right then and there the moment it required you to move your limbs.”
“I actually thought he was never going to learn to walk,” Patricia says. “He immediately gave up and lay on the floor where he seemed happiest whipping shit around with his powers.”
“You gave up too,” Nolan tells his mother. “I remember you going, ‘Welp, the little shit doesn’t want to walk, guess I’ll find something else for him to do.’ And then you wandered off and returned with a knife.”
“It was a plastic knife! I just thought I could train him to use his powers to throw knives at people. Wouldn’t that be cool?” Patricia asks.
I nod. “That would have been awesome. Landon, why don’t you do that?”
“First off, because even if I’m the ‘villain’ of the group, I’m not super into murder. I mean, in books it’s cool. In real life I’m a bit less into it, you know? Like Deus, if you want to go fuck up a group of bad guys, I’m all for it, but for me to do it… it’s a bit much.”
“Deus… you seem to have sketchy morals,” Patricia says. “What are your thoughts on joining SAVCGEM as an official member?”
“I would be blessed to,” I whisper.
“You are not becoming a villain,” Ellison says.
“But only if Ellison can join with me.”
“He blew up that clinic with pizazz; I would love to have him as an official member,” Mark says. “I was proud of you.”
Ellison hesitates as I realize that he’s probably never been told that by a parental figure.
“Not… quite… what I’d like to be known for,” Ellison chokes out.
“Really?” Mark asks. “People are calling you a hero. That place was toxic and it hurt so many people. It’s too bad someone didn’t blow it up sooner.”
Ellison seems a little unsure of what to do with these compliments.
“Mom, Dad, don’t steal my friends,” Landon says.
“Sorry, honey. I’m just so proud of you for having friends. I just… it brings a tear to my dried-up eyes.” Patricia responds.
“There’s no tear coming out of those damn eyes! You haven’t cried since the day I broke into that first vault.”
“I was just so happy,” she says. “Before we eat… I want us to come together as a family so I can say how thankful I am for each and every one of you… and once I have you buttered up, I would like to know your thoughts on this vault here.” She slaps down a blueprint of a nearby bank.
“I could get that open with my eyes closed,” I assure her.
“That’s my boy.”
I beam at Ellison, eager to show off that I’ve been accepted as well.
Landon shakes his head. “Guys, no! Don’t fall for their tricks. You don’t want a family like this. They’re weird, they’re not good people, and they get their joy in life from the minor suffering of others.”
“I don’t know. I like how quirky they are,” I say.
“I will not break into a vault,” Ellison declares.
Patricia nods reassuringly. “We’ll start small and build our way up. There’s actually this house… It’s a funny story. It’s a friend’s house and they locked their keys inside of it. I thought this group would be amazing at unlocking it for them.”
