The moment our group steps into Landon’s house, a streamer pops in my face. I karate chop it and grab the culprit by the throat.
“Honey… I think I might be interested in breath play,” Mark says.
“Fucking hell,” Nolan whispers.
“It’s weird when you find your new kinks with other people and then announce them out loud. We’ve talked about this before,” Patricia says.
“Right, right.”
“I’m confused, do I let him go or do I let him finish first?” I ask.
“Fucking hell, no! Stop! All of you,” Landon begs as he pulls me away from his father before looking at him. “That’s my friend, Dad… myfriend.”
“I tease, I tease… mostly,” he says.
“We made dinner for all of you after you all worked so hard to destroy that building! We’re so proud of you, hon,” Patricia saysas Lex watches in amusement while August and Ellison simply look defeated.
“We didn’t… destroy it. It was on fire when we showed up,” Ellison corrects.
“We saw the way you fucked up those super haters. I liked it when you punched that man in the face,” Patricia tells me.
“Thank you!”
“No,notthank you! We didn’t do it on purpose,” Ellison says.
“Was I not supposed to be doing it on purpose?” I ask, slightly confused.
Ellison shrugs. “I mean… I guess it’s fine.”
“Do they believe this is supposed to make us feel better?” I ask Ellison, who looks as horrified as Landon seems to be.
“Sit, sit, sit,” Patricia says. “We’ve made you lunch to fill your tumtums.”
“Mom, why are you speaking so strangely? Better yet… why are you in my house?” Landon asks as he looks around. “Dad, did you melt the fucking doorknobs off again?”
“Your brother let us in,” Mark says.
“Nolan? How dare you betray me like this?” Landon asks.
He holds his hands up. “I’m positive I’m not the brother they’re talking about.”
“Nolan, you did a good job staying off camera and playing dead,” Patricia says.
“Yes, you can thank your middle child for that,” Nolan replies with obvious dissatisfaction. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive Brandon for that one.
“Now come on. Stop looking so terrified. Get your asses in here and sit down,” Patricia orders. “I spenthoursmaking you this meal. I really hope you boys like it. I got up at six to get the dough rising. And then your dad had to help cut things up for me. I thought I’d get to relax today, but I knew that I wanted my boys to eat a good, love-infused, home-cooked meal. Noone deserves a home-cooked meal more than my boys and their precious friends. A real mom serves a home-cooked meal, just like this real mom did.”
“Mom, I’m really confused,” Brandon says as he comes out holding a KFC container. “Do I take the mashed potatoes out of this bowl and put them inanotherbowl? But then I put them in too small of a bowl so then I put them in too big of a bowl and then I just put them back in the original bowl. But Landon gets so fussy if I leave dishes in the sink, so like… why would I make more dishes to clean?”
“Home-cooked, eh?” Landon asks.
“It’s because she’s not our real mom, Landon. Remember, we were both switched at birth,” Nolan says.
Patricia frowns at him. “Nolan, I don’t think I switched you. And Landon, you were too young to remember, so just forget about it.”
“Don’t know if I can. Hey, Brandon? Did you finger all of the chicken as you moved it between bowls?” Landon asks.
“I sure did,” Brandon says.
