I took those who comforted me for granted. I tried to destroy them, and I’m not sure I’ve ever forgiven myself for that… or for Otto’s death. That part of my mind that my father had hammered into me is convinced the only reason Aspen evenhangs around me is because he’s a part of me, because he can’t escape me. But then why does he show up during times like this?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You better be sorry,” Aspen says. “I got him all hot and bothered and you made me leave.”
“No! Not that. I… don’t want to talk tonight. Let’s just… go to sleep.”
“I don’t exactly sleep. I’m a part of your mind. You do all of the sleeping for us,” Aspen reminds me.
“Neither of us are going anywhere,” Asmodeus says. “Not now… not ever. I will haunt you to hell and back.”
“Your handsome devil might be a bit strange and he might be convincing you all to join a cult with him, but I’m here for it.” Aspen looks at Asmodeus. “I’ll be your first member.”
“Thanks, man, that means a lot to me.”
“You two are meant for each other,” I tease.
“Nah, we’re clearly both meant for you,” Asmodeus says, and I hesitate.
“I like that.”
“Yeah? I can say more sappy shit if you’d like. Let’s see… I will sacrifice the blood of a human or two to spend another moment with you.”
“Let’s just put a pause on that.”
Just like the blanket El wrapped me up in that night, I feel the comfort of them wrapped around me.
I close my eyes and drift off into the peaceful darkness.
When I wake, it’s because I can sense him in the room. I didn’t even know I’d fallen asleep, probably because I’d somehow felt so at peace.
Panic hits me and all signs of sleep disappear from me as I see a shadow at the other end of the room.
“Go away!” I snap. “Get out of my fucking life. You want to take everything good that’s ever happened to me away from me. You will not fucking touch him.”
“Stop,” Asmodeus says as he pulls me back, and I realize that he’d already been awake. “Shh… It’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
“I’m not going back to sleep when that—” I hit the light and see that he’s gone. Relief washes over me. Had he been planning on striking before I woke up and scared him off?
“It’s okay,” Asmodeus says. “He wasn’t going to do anything.”
“He wasn’t going to do anything? He came in here while we were asleep because he was going to attack you.”
“Shhh, no he wasn’t.”
I jerk away from him, pissed that he isn’t taking this seriously. I flick the edge of his shirt like he might not remember that the man had been planning on stabbing him. “Are you serious? Why are you not taking him seriously?”
“I am, I just believe that he’s not going to hurt me?—”
“Why won’t you believe me?” I ask.
“He is a part of you, Ellison. I believe you would never hurt me,” Asmodeus says.
“He isnota part of me. He’s a fucking parasite that is insistent on destroying my life.”
Aspen’s grip tightens on me.
“Just…” I pull away from him and get up. “I need a minute.”
