CHAPTER ONE
ELLISON
“Did you guys read what I sent last night?” I ask as I adjust my glasses.
“I will read absolutelyanythingyou write, Ellison,” Asmodeus declares, which tells me that he read absolutely none of it. Asmodeus is… Asmodeus. Honestly, describing him in any way that makes logical sense is enough to make my head hurt. He’s a super (not quite sure I’d call him a superhero) with the ability to turn invisible as well as an extreme knack for weaponry. Oddly enough, the database has pretty much nothing on Asmodeus, as if he popped into existence one day as a grown-ass man who decided to follow August and Landon around. As far as I can tell, his powers weren’t even tested and still aren’t.
And while he’s an attractive man with messy brown hair and bright blue eyes, which are focused on me, the instant he speaks it all goes away.
Speaking of August and Landon, they are currently battling the hatch while they try to get our bags out of the back of the SUV.
August, the only one in this misfit team of superheroes who I would actually classify as a hero, looks over at me. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you sent anything for us to look over or I would have read it for sure.”
Landon perks up as he tugs and pulls at his bag for a moment before it slips out. “Ohhhh, right… I remember seeing it, but I was also like… at a really good part in my book, you know? And then your notification interrupted and annoyed me, so I simply got rid of both of them on our phones.”
While August has been the main superhero of our city for many years, he semi-recently began dating Landon, a man who is as much a villain as he is a hero. He was raised by lesser-known villains, and had committed a vast number of crimes, such as bank robbery, even as a young child. But for some reason that I cannot quite grasp, it was all forgotten the second August set his sights on him and fell in love.
It’s good to know that love can erase felonies.
“I’m so excited,” August says, moving well past my question and on to his adventure. It was his idea to go camping, after all.
Landon looks around himself before eyeing the car. “Yaaayyy. Sooooo excited to be like… out in nature… and stuff. And like… sleep in a tent where bears could eat me,” he says with ample sarcasm. His speech consists of eighty percent sarcasm, ten percent sass, and ten percent honesty, but August inexplicably doesn’t seem to mind.
“Don’t worry. I’ll save you. I will blast that bear right in its furry fucking face,” Asmodeus assures him, slinging a rifle and a shotgun onto his back.
“That’s so gruesome,” Landon says as he grabs his cat Zacia, a hairless sphynx who is currently wearing a shirt that says, “I’m gonna make nature my bitch,” and puts her on his shoulder where she oversees everything. I’m positive that hegoes nowhere without his “supervillain” cat who seems to be delighted to be involved.
“To be honest, I will shoot it in the heart if I can get a good angle. Then we could eat it if we get hungry enough,” Asmodeus declares.
“There are no known cases of bears even being in this park since 1911,” I say.
“Would punching be better for you? I will punch it right in its furry face before I’d ever let one touch you,” Asmodeus continues, obviously not hearing me. “I’ve wrestled a bear before.”
“Ooh, like… a sexy bear?” Landon asks as he waggles his eyebrows.
“I… I don’t quite know what constitutes as sexy in the bear world, but he was impressive,” Asmodeus says, not getting that Landon was talking about a very different kind of bear.
Please, someone… anyone… anything… give me the strength to make it through this weekend.
“Lex. Hey, Lex, are you coming or are you just going to sit in the vehicle for two days and let the bears eat you?” Landon yells.
The back door of the SUV swings open and Lex pokes his head out, his eyes that are lined in pink liner scrutinizing us. “Are they… the sexy kind of bears?”
“I didn’t know you guys liked bears so much,” Asmodeus says. “It’s kind of creepy, my mans.”
Lex’s face scrunches up, causing his glittery eyeshadow to shimmer when his narrowed eyes land on Asmodeus. “Never mind.”
“I once ate a bear’s balls,” Asmodeus says, like that’s a good response to any part of that.
We all stop and stare at him before we decide that we’re not asking any more questions, we’re grabbing our gear and continuing on. Thankfully, Valerie, August’s manager who alsohandles the other superheroes in this city, sent people out earlier today to carry the tents and food to the spot where we’ll be camping, so the only things we need to carry are personal items.
“Are we really doing this?” Lex asks.
Lex is a superhero whose powers revolve around fire. Based on Superheroes United’s scale that classifies superpowers, he’s ranked as A Class because his abilities are quite powerful. The only issue is that he has struggled to control his fire since he was young. While we’ve helped him with… some success, he’s still not confident enough in his power to use it freely.
“Ellison, are you going to wear your suit to hike in the woods?” Asmodeus asks.
What a foolish question. “Of course I am.”
