“You don’t like leaving them.”
I don’t answer. What’s the point? Tyler knows me too well. He knows that I’ve developed this annoying protective instinct that makes me want to bundle them both in bubble wrap.
“It’s weird,” I say finally.
“What is?”
“The feeling of needing to know where they are all the time. To make sure they’re okay.” I shake my head. “It’s fucking unhinged.”
Tyler laughs. “It’s called caring about people, dumbass.”
“I care about lots of people. It’s not the same.”
“Because lots of people aren’t Ellie and Piper.”
“Speaking of which,” I say, because I’ve been putting this off long enough. “I need to tell you something.”
Tyler straightens in his seat, and I can feel his eyes on me. “This doesn’t sound good.”
“Piper’s pregnant.”
A beat of silence and then, “Holy shit.”
I glance over to see him staring at me, slack-jawed. “That about sums it up.” I still can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that I’m going to be a father when the new year rolls around. Again. Or for real this time, since Ellie technically isn’t mine—even if she does have me wrapped around her chubby little finger.
“How far along?”
“About fourteen weeks now. She’s due in January.”
He claps a hand on my arm several times. “Dude, that’s awesome. You’re going to be a fa?—”
“There’s more.” I grip the steering wheel tighter. “The attorney called yesterday. He finally tracked down Julie’s aunt.”
“Ellie’s relative?”
“Yeah. The aunt–her name’s Nancy–and Julie’s mother were estranged, but she’s interested in meeting Ellie.”
The words hang between us.
“So you’re going to dump one kid before you have another?” Tyler’s voice has lost all its warmth.
Heat flashes through me, but I’m not sure whether it comes from anger or self-recrimination. “What the hell, Ty? You know the plan has always been to find a family for Ellie. People who can take care of her.”
“But not you?”
“She needs someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”
“You’re figuring it out.” It’s not a question.
I open my mouth to argue, then close it again. I hate that he’s right. Iamfiguring it out. And I want to keep going. I want to hear Ellie call me Fee every morning. Read her favorite books, most of which I already have memorized. I want to teach her how to throw a football and protect her from every bad thing in the world. But I’m terrified the thing she needs to be protected from the most might be me.
“This isn’t about me,” I say finally. “It’s about what’s best for Ellie.”
“You’re still convinced that’s not you?”
“Tyler—”
“What does Piper think?”
