I don’t answer. I haven’t told her about the call from the attorney. I’ve been too busy trying not to think about what it means.
“Jesus, Felix.” Tyler shakes his head. “You have to tell her.”
“I will. It’s just that I don’t know where things stand with us so?—”
“Where things stand is you knocked her up.”
“Fuck off, Tyler. It’s more complicated than that. I also asked her to marry me. Badly.”
“Are you joking?” Tyler shifts to face me fully.
“Do I look like I’m joking? I asked her to marry me, and she said no.”
“So instead of talking to her like an adult about Ellie’s aunt, you’re going to pretend like it didn’t happen?” He shakes his head. “You’re a giant idiot.”
“Thanks, man,” I answer through gritted teeth. “Super helpful.”
He lets out a low whistle. “You like her.”
“Of course I like her. She’s—” I stop myself before I can list all the things that are awesome about Piper. The way she calls me on my bullshit. How she makes me laugh even when I’m trying to be mad. The softness in her eyes when she looks at Ellie. The way she fits against me when we?—
“Maybe more than like,” Tyler amends.
“We both know where that’s gotten me in the past.” The bitterness in my voice surprises even me. “High school, college, Ronnie. Every time I give a woman my heart, she finds a creative way to destroy it.”
“Piper’s different.”
“Yeah. She tells me to my face when I’m being a twatwaffle.”
“Exactly.” Tyler’s laugh is almost diabolical. “And she doesn’t want you for your money or your status.”
I’m not going to lie. It’s refreshing to have someone look at me and see Felix instead of the NFL star. At first, I was annoyed that she clearly wasn’t impressed by my hype, but it’s made me work harder to be a man she can admire.
“How do I know if she wants me long-term?” The question pops out of my mouth before I can stop it, my deepest fear spoken out loud. If Piper doesn’t care about my money or status, is just being me going to be enough? I certainly have no track record in that area.
“We’ll figure it out,” Tyler assures me, and damn, I want to believe him. “But first, what are you going to do about Ellie?”
My heart clenches, because the truth is, I don’t want to let hergo. But I also don’t want to mess her up the way my dad messed up Ian and me with his constant criticism and impossible standards. He made everything about football and nothing about actually being a father. I’ve seen Ian do better, but even my perfect brother struggled to connect with his daughter at the height of his career. And if Ian couldn’t manage football and fatherhood, how do I stand a chance?
“I don’t know,” I admit. “She deserves better than my lifestyle, better than?—”
“Better than a guy who stays up late researching toddler development and reads her the same damn books over and over because they make her happy?” Tyler’s voice is gentle now. “Felix, you’re already being the dad she needs. You just don’t see it.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I focus on the road. We’re getting close to Denver now, the city skyline appearing in the distance.
My phone buzzes, and I grab it from the cupholder to glance briefly at the screen while keeping one eye on the road. It’s a picture of Ellie with what looks like syrup in her hair.
Piper: oops. pancakes are messy business
I find myself smiling despite everything I’m struggling to figure out.
“You’ve seriously got it bad.” I can hear the smirk in Tyler’s voice.
“Shut up,” I tell him and turn on the radio.
The Grizzlies’training facility is on the south end of the city. It’s state-of-the-art, massive, and hums with an energy that I recognize at a soul-deep level. As soon as we walk through the doors, I’m swept up in it.
“Barlowe!” Someone claps me on the shoulder. It’s Jameson Davis, the team’s best defensive back. “It’s about time you showed your face.”
