“It isn’t that I don’t want you here.” He stops talking and runs a hand through his hair. “I just don’t know how to do this. I want to. I thought I could, but maybe I was wrong.”
“You can do anything you put your mind to, Vaughn Collins. I believe that with my whole being.”
His dark blue eyes spark with pain, but he doesn’t react or agree with me. When Vaughn’s not fighting, he’s given up.
“Okay.” I nod when it’s clear he isn’t going to say anything else. “I’m going to go, but if you need anything, I’m here.”
Today was a bad day, but maybe tomorrow he’ll feel differently.
I don’t believe it even as I think it.
Chapter Thirty-four
Lacey
One good thing about me: I’m fabulous at focusing on everything but my emotions. Which is how I find myself at school Tuesday morning having not dealt with my feelings about Vaughn.
But all that avoidance smacks me in the face the moment I step into the school. I’m met with reminders of the game and Vaughn everywhere. The signs lining the walls suddenly seem like too much.
I groan as I walk beside Claire. “I have never hated my love for team spirit and glitter more than I do now.”
She squeezes my hand and then steps over to the side and rips down a poster on the wall that readsLet’s Go KNIGHTS!
Her face lights up. “Ooh that actually felt good. Try it.”
I walk over to a poster. This one readsBEAT PACIFIC. In one smooth motion, I tear it from the wall. It falls to my feet in a satisfying thump.
My eyes spark.
Claire laughs. “Told you.”
We move down the hallway, taking the posters off the wall. By the time we reach the other end, my anger has turned to sadness. We remove each of the locker signs too. All but one. Vaughn’s is already missing. I don’t know why that hurts more than anything else. Maybe because it’s a reminder that at our core, we’re different. I’m sparkle and sunshine, and he’s serious and somber. I guess it was too much to think he’d ever really change.
We stuff the last of the posters and signs into the trash. The halls look drab and boring again, which I guess is fitting for my mood.
When we walk back, Vaughn is waiting by my locker. Claire gives me a supportive smile and leaves me to talk to him alone.
My heart squeezes in my chest as I approach him.
“Hey.” His hands are shoved into his pants.
“Hey,” I parrot back. I don’t feel the usual compulsion to fill the silence between us, and we both fall quiet.
He speaks again first. “I was going to text you when I finally made it home last night, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to hear from me.”
I want to be the bigger person and reassure him that it’s fine and we can be friends, no matter what he decides, but I’m having a hard time extending that much. All I really want is for him to choose to fight for us.
“Anyway, I just wanted to check and see how you’re doing.”
He wants to check onme?
“I don’t get you.” I shake my head. All I wanted was to be that person for him, and he wouldn’t let me. He said he wanted to be alone, and now he’s here.
“I know.” He glances to his feet. “I’m sorry.”
As upset as I am, some part of me still wants to console him.
“It’s probably for the best anyway.” I hate the words as soon as they leave my mouth, but I can’t seem to stop talking once I start. “We probably would have broken up and hated each other anyway eventually.”
