It was clear that despite the remote location of the farm, Kevin and his family were well thought of by their neighbours. She was introduced to so many enthusiastic people who loved Kevin and had heard all about her. They were quick to shake her hand, to hug her or kiss her on the cheek, and offer their congratulations. But behind their smiles she knew they disguised an underlying feeling of pity for the young widow-to-be.
Mark was the only person who’d failed to approach her, yet he was also the person she had wanted to talk to the most. They had both given each other a wide berth, and the further apart they were physically, the more frustrated she became with herself for what she was feeling for him.
‘Kevin is lucky to have you, love,’ began Dan, placing his arm around Jade’s shoulder. ‘No, let me correct myself –weare so lucky to have you. I’ve never seen him happier than he’s been in the last few weeks. And I know the next few aren’t going to be easy for any of us, but they are going to be easier for Kevin knowing that you’re with him.’
Jade offered a mandatory smile and thanked Dan for his kind words, but inside she began to feel the immense weight of her actions pressing down on her shoulders and crushing her under its might. She made her excuses and worked her way through the marquee, away from everybody, where she could be alone.
She reminded herself of how, only a month ago, meeting her Match in the flesh had seemed like a pipe dream. She’d made it a reality, but somewhere along theline it had gone awry. Now she desperately wanted to gain control of the runaway train she’d found herself on, but she had no idea how. Instead, she was clinging on for dear life.
She approached the patio quietly, pleased to have some time to herself. But she wasn’t alone. Before she could see him in the dusk, she felt his presence. Immediately her pulse quickened and the fine hairs on her arms rose.
‘Hello,’ Jade began shyly.
‘Hi,’ Mark replied.
‘What are you doing out here?’
‘I needed a time out.’
‘Same here.’
‘Do you want me to go?’
‘No, no,’ she said, a little too ardently.
Jade sat in the furthest chair away from Mark, and looked out into the dusky distance. Each of them was unsure what to say next or how to break the tension.
‘It was a nice ceremony,’ Mark began. ‘I forgot what it was like to see Kevin smile that much.’
‘Yes, it was beautiful.’ She held the hand with her wedding ring finger behind her back out of view.
‘I know none of this is what you expected when you came over here, but Kevin and Mum and Dad are all glad you came.’
‘What about you?’ Jade asked, and held his gaze. ‘Are you glad I came?’
‘I’d better get back,’ Mark said abruptly, and got up from his seat.
‘Mark,’ Jade called, as he began to walk away. Her voice was impassioned. ‘What are we going to do?’
He turned his head and stared at her with such longing in his eyes that she felt like weeping for the both of them.
‘We’re not going to do anything,’ he said softly, before slowly turning his back on her and walking away.
Chapter 64
NICK
Nick was slumped on the floor of his budget hotel room in the city centre, propped up by the wardrobe and reeking of the mini-bar shots he’d single-handedly finished off. He ignored the no-smoking sign, and flicked the ash from his lit cigarette into the torn-off lid of the packet of Marlboro Lights.
The clothes he’d worn over the last three days were heaped in a bundle in the corner. The television was turned on but muted.
Since he and Sally had met almost four years ago, this had been the longest period they’d gone without talking. Even when she’d taken a detox holiday with her old university friends on the Thai coast, she’d still found a way to email him. But since Nick agreed to leave their flat by mutual consent, contact had come to a sudden halt.
Alex stood over him, and passed him a bottle of Fosters from a six-pack he’d brought. He’d used the top of the chest of drawers to prise the lid off.
‘How are you feeling about it now?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Nick replied. ‘A month ago I was planning my wedding and now I’m living in a hotel room. All I can think about is what I’ve done to Sallyand how much I want to be with you. How did Mary react when you told her?’
