“I want to go with you,” I said firmly. If Frostbrook wasn’t meant to be my home, I’d go somewhere else. “You know I can fight if we need to. And I’m as strong as either of you.”
“No one’s debating that,” Julian said under his breath, continuing to look flustered.
“Let her go with you,” Ezra prompted, his voice strangely gentle.
“You’re coming, too,” Julian snapped at the exact same time that I asked, “What about you?”
Ezra used a smooth stick to stand and leaned against it. “The two of you can go anywhere you please. I never agreed to go on a long, boring walk.”
An uncomfortable pang of unhappiness gripped me. “You won’t come with us?”
Here I was again, longing for Ezra’s company. I hated them both in that moment—for being all I had, for being people I wanted to know better, know completely, despite everything.
“Ainsley will kill you if you return to Frostbrook,” Julian said. “You showed her your hand. You’re a liability to her now.”
“What’s to keep her from chasing after me? Not all of us can fake our own deaths,” Ezra said crossly. I remembered how he’d boasted that he’d killed Julian. How he’d staged the blood in his room. Now I had a feeling it had all been to protect Julian—to give him a way out.
“You know she’s not going to chase you. Not when Henry’s waiting on her to return to him,” Julian said impatiently.
“You don’t have to bedead.You can disappear,” I told Ezra. “We can disappear together.”
Ezra stared at me. “But I …”
Julian abruptly pushed him toward a sloping incline, ignoring his stumbling and swearing. “Enough dithering. Didn’t you tell me to bemore decisive? Well, I’ve decided. Start walking. Appren—Josephine, you may as well come along. It’s not like you’d survive if you didn’t.” He grabbed a bag from the ground and slung it over his shoulder.
Ezra glanced back, and I saw a silent plea in his eyes that nearly made me laugh hysterically. He might as well have mouthed,Don’t leave me alone with him.
Swallowing the impulse to dig my heels in the dirt and watch them walk out of my life, I kicked sand onto the fire until it dampened to a wisp of smoke. I was too exhausted and sore to lie to myself. This wasn’t a last resort. It was what I wanted. I wanted to walk beside the two most infuriating boys I’d ever met.
Struck by an impulse, I untied the blue scarf I’d fastened back on out of habit. I held it out over the water and opened my fingers, letting it flutter away. The swift current stole it and carried it out of sight.
Without another word, I followed their silent stumbling path alongside the relentless rush of the river.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Whatever toiling I thought I’d done in the past paled in comparison to the effort it took to make my legs keep moving when all I wanted was to crumple to the ground. The only thing that kept me upright was my rage. I could feel it like a living thing pulsing alongside my heart. With every shuffling step, I nurtured it, despite being unsure exactly who or what I wanted to unleash that rage upon.
Julian, a surprisingly skilled way finder, led us to a wagon trail that we followed through the damp, thick forest until the trees gave way to an empty rolling plain. It wasn’t quite dawn, but the birds in the tall grass were beginning to trill and flutter, as if anticipating the light.
Shuffling out from under the canopy leaves, I stared up at a sky so vast, it made me dizzy. There were no tufts of clouds above, only the shimmering lights of innumerable stars and the glossy swirls of the galaxies that cradled them. The radiance in me responded to the echo of countless suns, all pulsing with the same power that lived within me. I felt warm and sheltered, uniquely aware that while my body was farfrom celestial, it was the temporary home to something much greater than I’d ever truly understand.
Placing his hand on my shoulder, Julian spoke softly. “It’s your first time seeing the sky like this?”
“How can you tell?”
He chuckled quietly. “Because you haven’t been looking where you’re walking. Listen—I’m not teasing you,” he said, responding to my bristling. “I cried the first time I saw the stars that bright.”
For a long moment, we stood side by side, and I wondered if we were not Children of Industry but children of stars. Stars that could not and should not be harnessed.
“City folk,” Ezra muttered, shoving past us and stumbling off the path into what looked like a soft patch of grass. He turned in a circle like a restless cat before sinking to the ground and closing his eyes.
I glanced at Julian, expecting him to be frustrated. Instead, he wore a fond expression that made me feel weightless for a moment. I was fairly certain I’d looked at Ezra the exact same way more than once. Strangely, that made me feel closer to Julian.
“I’d like to go farther, but he needs to rest,” he murmured. “We can sleep through the morning and set off again at midday.”
Privately relieved, I found my own little spot where I could keep an eye on Ezra. He hadn’t said a word as we’d walked through the night, as if it had taken all he had to stay on his feet.
Julian sat beside me. It felt strange. More intimate than walking side by side. Before I could complain, he opened his pack and handed me a piece of hard cheese and a scrap of grainy bread. “This isn’t poisoned, if you’re concerned.”
