Only because she has no idea what I’ve done...
I just need to make it through these last two weeks. Get my mum’s journals, find out what the hell is going on with the dragons, and get home. Rhiann will be running out of Spice and then there’s Bren…
I don’t even know what I’m going back to. I’ve missed him, so much, but I don’t know what kind of missing it is because I haven’t let myself think about him. The thought of freedom, of seeing him again, it’s too close to hope. And hope hurts.
Plus with everything else going on, I have to get back to Ashvale with answers, but I need to do it without Ezzy, Finn or Rowan realising I’ve been lying. Without anyone else ending up in the Healers’ wing, or worse, because of me.
And that starts with tonight.
Mydatewith Talen.
Something shifts at the edge of my vision, beside me, Finn’s drawn a tiny face on the hilt of Rowan’s blade and wrapped it in a napkin like a blanket. Humming under his breath, some tuneless lullaby he starts rocking it back and forth.
Groaning Ezzy snatches it out of his hands.
“Someone jealous they’re not the one getting all the attention anymore?” Finn teases. “You must be feeling better.”
She doesn’t bite, just passes the blade back to Rowan, who exhales hard through his nose.
“Do you want me to stay and walk with you?” I ask her, as if that will fix everything.
“No, it's fine, you guys go ahead.” Ezzy replies.
“Okay, well, don’t rush.” Rowan adds, “I’m going to put this blade back in my room before Finn proposes to it. Meet you all in the courtyard?”
Ezzy nods and swings her legs over the side of the bed, fingers sliding her sparkly hairpin back into place like muscle memory. But when she stands—just for a second—her breath hitches. A silent wince flashes across her face, gone as quick as it came, covering it with a smile that’s too bright to be real.
I pretend not to notice. But the guilt gnaws, all the same.
“Come on, Outerlander,” Finn turns to me, jerking his chin toward the corridor “Let’s go, these two are boring me to sleep anyway.”
Ezzy shoots him a look sharp enough to cut, and we head out before the arguing starts.
Cadets funnel past,uniforms brushing shoulders, as Finn and I walk through the wide corridor towards the courtyard.
Glancing across, I take a good look at him. Hands in pockets, boots dragging, black hair even messier than usual, dark circles carved under his eyes. He looks like hell. Like the kind of faceyou get from sleeping in a chair all night. Pretty sure he hasn’t left Ezzy’s side since the incident.
I wish I could say the same. That I’ve been as loyal. Instead, I’ve actually been sleeping. No more nightmare reruns of Talen’s mouth on mine. Those have thankfully stopped. The kiss is buried as deep as I can force it—every flicker of heat, every way my body reacted. I’ve shoved it down so far I can almost believe it never happened. Almost.
As we keep walking, I shift the weight of my pack, straps digging in with each step, neck sore from twisting all night—because sleep doesn’t mean rest. Now my dreams are just… something else. Something I can’t place.
Shapes shifting in the dark, too familiar to ignore. I don’t like it, but I’ll take that over waking up choking on the taste of the Nightrose any day.
A group of Earth realm third-years cuts across our path, murmuring about today’s Sunday Sermon. Finn sidesteps without looking, yawning into his sleeve.
Can’t believe it's the weekend already, the week has blurred by.I kept the duck on me at all times, tucked close, never out of reach, but always hidden. Luckily, I haven't needed it that much; no sign of Talen.Rumours are he’s off in the Outerlands with Merrin. Fine. More air for me to breathe, more space to think, specifically around how I’m going to get the answers I need from him. I have leverage now, but leverage only works if you use it right, and I’m not dumb enough to think that means control. I know he’ll turn it this a game. He always does.
I was hoping Strannt,Weasel Junior, would be away all week too, but I caught a glimpse of him at lunch the other day.
He definitely saw me, but didn’t so much as blink my way. Same with Ryven and his gang. It’s like I don’t exist, like none of it ever happened.
Which is hilarious, really. Back when Talen wanted me dead, people didn’t exactly avoid me—they circled, whispered, tested their luck.
But now that everyone thinks we’re romantically involved, they won’t come within ten feet. Like I’m contagious. Like, one look at me might catch whatever curse they think I’m carrying.
My boots scrape over worn stone as we head down the main stairwell, up ahead, I spot Beth walking beside Lucien, her hand drifting slow down his arm like she wants everyone to see exactly where it’s been.
On Wednesday I sat next to her again, this time in Offensive Magic. My chest tightened when I saw her, part of me half ready for claws, considering her parents' arranged marriage plans with Talen.
