“Never,” I promise, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Cassian?”
He grumbles something into Simon’s shoulder and Simon laughs.
“Cassian,” I say again, my voice flat.
“I’lltry.”
Simon looks at me thoughtfully. “Cassian and I still have some of our own shit to work out. We’ve… had our missteps. I thought he mated me out of obligation and, you know, alpha white knight syndrome. I still get insecure about it.”
“Whoa, what?” I ask, while Cassian protests, “You know I love you, Simon.”
“And you both know I like to hear you say it.”
Cassian sighs but kisses his shoulder. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” His eyes flick to mine, glittering with a grin, then back to Simon. “I love you.”
Simon snuggles back into him, completely relaxing as he breathes in Cassian’s scent. “Cass and I… we were starting to do better until you arrived at Fairhaven, and he lost literally every single ounce of sense. But I… for the longest time, I thought Cassian only mated me to save Ellie.”
“From becoming a ward of the state,” I say quietly. “Ellie told me a bit about it, how you saved her and kept her safe.”
“She says it’s me, but it was mostly Cassian. His family has the lawyers and resources. She’s legallyourward, not just mine. And, honestly, Ellie is no one’s anything. She’s her own person.”
“But she needed someone to let her be her own person.”
“Exactly. As Cassian’s mate, I had this power I didn’t have before. I could help protect her. Cassian pays for Jace’s services.”
“You were going to drop out and work three jobs to do it,” Cassian protests. “I couldn’t let that happen.”
I can see why Simon could think Cassian mated him to save him, to save Ellie and be their white knight, but I can also see just how wrong it is, how love shines out of Cassian whenever he looks at the beta.
I would never deny either of them the love they find in the other. Not ever. They deserve every last ounce of happiness they find in each other’s arms. But I love Simon Monroe too. Just as much as his alpha does. We can never be mated, but Iwillbe with him for as long as he’ll have me.
I know it won’t be easy. Saints above, the beta I love is mated to my alpha ex. There’s no way thatcanbe easy, but Simon’s worth it.
And I know we’ll make it work.
* * *
I’m never farfrom Simon’s side while he’s in the infirmary. Doc fetches some spare clothes from my cottage, and I take one quick trip to downtown Fairhaven with Luca and Marcus to raid their local candy shop—all so Simon and I can start our candy tasting in earnest while we have nothing better to do than nap, cuddle up together, and study.
Cassian will often curl up with us, on Simon’s other side, and it’s not as weird or awkward as I thought it would be. I get used to the way their breathing settles as they fall asleep, how Simon talks and mutters—and even laughs—in his sleep, how Cassian tosses and turns in his.
After two days of bedrest, Simon demands Cassian fetch his laptop.
“I want to keep looking into Halcyon,” he says in a low voice as Cassian passes him the device. “My search script was just starting to gain traction.”
“Rad said Halcyon wouldn’t spare me. Well, he thought it.” I turn to Cassian. “I’m assuming you know all about the affinity thing?”
He doesn’t even look abashed. “I do, yes. And don’t get upset, Simon wasn’t the one to tell me.”
“You just know things,” I mutter. “Or so Luca says. But why? How?”
“When it comes to the two of you, I make it a point to know. To keep you safe—or to try to, at least. Our enemy is even more persistent than I thought he would be.”
“Sorry for using it on you last term. It wasn’t intentional. I’m still learning to control it.”
“You mean when it felt like daggers were stabbing me in the eyes?”
“That’s not all it does,” I hedge, looking past Simon to Cassian. “I get thoughts and emotions from people. Sometimes I even get little glimpses of the future. It happened with Trinity’s disappearance, and I wasn’t able to stop it.”
