I shrugged. “What do you want to do?”
“It’s your call, Mama. You have to do all the heavy lifting of growing our baby, so I think it’s only fair that you get to decide whether we’re surprised at birth or find out early.”
My hand smoothed over my bump, and I didn’t hesitate in my response. “I want to find out.”
A dazzling smile stretched across John’s face. “Then we’ll find out.”
I gestured to the shoes in his hand. “Are you hoping for a girl?”
He pulled me into his arms. “I can’t think of anything better than a miniature version of you.”
My vision grew blurry, and I cursed the stupid hormones that had me crying over every little thing.
John tipped my chin up. “Ro?”
“S-sorry,” I stammered. “It’s just . . . That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Aw, come here.” He pulled me to his chest, his shirt soaking up my tears.
“Why do you have to be so amazing?” My voice came out muffled.
His chuckle vibrated against my face. “I hate making you cry, but I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s impossible for me to keep inside how I feel about you, Ro.”
I peeked up at him. “Promise me something?”
He brushed the hair away from my face. “Anything.”
“Don’t ever stop telling me how much you love me. I need to hear it, even if sometimes—” I choked out a laugh before correcting, “Okay, maybe all the time, it makes me emotional.”
A corner of his lips turned up. “I love you, Ro. Some days, it scares me how much.”
I frowned. “Why would it scare you?”
“Because you have become the very air that I breathe. I would cease to exist if you were no longer in my life.” He let out a heavy breath. “This is probably going to make me sound like a pathetic loser, but please don’t ever leave me.”
“Why would I ever want to leave you? You’re the one who’s too good for me.”
John’s shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I worry that I’ll never make it past your walls. You almost had a panic attack last night when I suggested you move into my place.”
His concerns were valid. There were times when I was closed off, and others when the past clawed at me from the shadows, causing me to have extreme overreactions.
But just last night, I’d made a promise to myself that I was going to try to be better, to commit to John in the way he deserved after how steadfast he’d been throughout our short but highly eventful relationship.
And I was going to put that into practice now.
“Why don’t we sleep at your place tonight?” I suggested.
John’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “What? You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” I cut him off, determination coloring my words. “Every day, I’m going to bring over a bag with more of my stuff to leave behind until all of it is at your apartment. It’ll take a couple of weeks to move everything over, but I’m ready to show you that I’m all in too.”
“Your strength amazes me.” His thumb stroked over my cheek.
I pulled out of his arms, sarcastic laughter flowing from my lips. “Yeah, we’ll see if you’re still saying that when I have to push something that fits in this”—I grabbed a newborn onesie off a nearby rack—“out of a hole that can barely manage to take two of your fingers.” I grabbed his hand, bringing it to the garment to emphasize the size difference. Sure, the man had larger-than-average hands, but the disparity was still shocking.
“I have no doubt that you’ll be just as incredible in overcoming that physical challenge as you have been while conquering countless mental ones.”
“Wish I had an ounce of your unwavering faith,” I grumbled.
