Gemma rested her head on Hayley’s shoulder, grateful for Hayley’s steady presence as she crumbled over Caitlin. Again.
ON THE EVE OF THEIRfinal day on set, the air around the studio felt both electric and somber. Gemma had a bittersweet taste in her mouth as she headed to her trailer to pack up that night.
Despite everything, the movie was going to be a huge success. She could feel it. But tomorrow only held two final scenes—one with Caitlin, one without—and it left her feeling hollow. Gemma’s chest tightened at the thought that this might be the end of her story with Caitlin.
Gemma stepped into her small trailer, the space feeling like a second home now, and spotted an envelope on the table with a sticky note attached.
Gemma,
You should have gotten this a long time ago.
Always & Forever,
Caitlin
Gemma peeled off the small blue note, revealing a white envelope with age-yellowed corners addressed to her parents’ house in New Hope. The return address in the top left corner listed an apartment in Los Angeles. She didn’t recognize it, but she knew exactly who the letter was from.
A lump formed in her throat, and a feeling of loss washed over her. Gemma grabbed her bag and nearly ran back to her apartment. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Gemma dumped everything else onto the floor and stared at the letter, still gripped in her hand.
Popping the top on her best bottle of scotch, she filled a lowball glass halfway. She sank into her couch, took a long drink, and slit the envelope open.
Gemma,
I don’t even know where to start. I must have picked up my phone a thousand times since I left UPenn, wanting to hear your voice. I know it’s been two years, and this probably sounds insane, but I needed to see you. I wanted you to know I’m still thinking about you. I’m still in love with you.
I went to your UPenn graduation last month. You looked stunning, Squish. You’ve always been able to make my heart skip, but watching you walk across that stage to receive your diploma—you were absolutely radiant. And the smile on your face… God, I’ve always loved that smile. It made me feel like maybe we aren’t broken.
I’m so sorry I left, Gemma. I thought fame would fill the hole inside of me, but when filming finished, I just felt empty. Itall meant nothing without you. I should never have left with just a note. For that, I will be sorry for the rest of my life.
I don’t deserve you, I know that. I’ve messed up more times than I can count. Still, if there’s any small part of you that still loves me too, please—send me a sign. I’ve spent every day of the last two years trying to imagine how to make it right. I hope this letter can be the first step.
I’ll always be yours, Gemma. I’ll wait forever if I have to.
I miss you.
Always & Forever,
Caitlin
By the time Gemma got to the end, the page was spotted with tears. The ache in her chest swelled when she realized that Caitlin had not only written this seven years ago but had kept it safe long after deciding not to send it.
If Caitlin had sent the letter—if Gemma had received it—their lives may have turned out differently. But what was she supposed to do with it now?
In bed, Gemma curled onto her side, wearing Caitlin’s high school cheerleading T-shirt, the letter clutched to her heart as she cried herself dry.
TWENTY-SIX
THE DAY CAITLIN WALKED OUTon Gemma had haunted her like a ghost ever since. The years after the breakup had been unbearable as she learned to live with her decision, but nothing could match the gut-wrenching reality of seeing the damage she had caused. Witnessing Gemma’s raw pain nearly a decade later had completely ruined Caitlin.
She hated herself back then—now, she couldn’t even look in the mirror. Self-loathing consumed her as she thought about the heartache she had caused the woman she loves. Learning that Gemma had planned to propose that summer felt like a final, cruel twist of a knife that cut deeper than any apology could heal.
Caitlin was grateful beyond words for the success of her career. She had achieved a dream that few people ever got to live, but the cost had been too high. She didn’t know if she could ever come back from what she’d done. Maybe she didn’t deserve to. Hearing that Gemma might never trust her again had hit Caitlin like a wrecking ball, demolishing whatever fragile hope remained of winning her back.
By the final day on set, Caitlin felt bleak. As filming came to an end, so would her time with Gemma.
The final scene of the movie showed Kate leaving herhusband to run after the woman she loved—the easiest, truest thing Caitlin had ever been asked to portray. This scene wouldn’t be acting. She planned on fighting for Gemma until her last breath.
They took their marks outside the Broadway theater where Kate and Sarah’s story had begun, the city holding its breath as Caitlin and Gemma faced each other.
