“I think I had too much to drink.” Caitlin couldn’t do this anymore. She felt like she was suffocating. She had to get out of there. “I’m gonna head home.”
Troy paused and looked down at her. “Do you need to throw up?”
“No.”
“Just stay here then,” Troy graveled sweetly, kissing her again.
For the first time, Caitlin couldn’t stand the feeling ofTroy’s hands or lips on her.
“I think I should sleep in my own bed tonight.”
He looked at her, baffled, but didn’t stop Caitlin when she slid out from under him, grabbed her phone, and left the house.
Caitlin had trouble breathing when she got home that night. Her life, once so sure, had taken a sharp turn she could no longer ignore without being thrown from a cliff.
When Caitlin laid her head on her pillow, the memory of kissing Gemma in that very spot flashed behind her eyelids. She could still feel the perfect fit of Gemma’s lips against hers, the spark that kindled between them. But then it ended the same way it always did, tormenting Caitlin—Gemma’s eyes, brimming with confused pain as Caitlin asked her to leave.
Feeling shaky, Caitlin stared at her bedroom ceiling, heart pounding, and realized what she had to do. There was no turning back now.
CAITLIN SPENT ALL OF SATURDAYholed up in her room, replaying every moment, every word, every look of the past year. She had to make sure she was ready, not just to upend the only life she had ever known, but to embrace the consequences, whatever they may be. There was a good chance that she’d end up right back here, staring at her ceiling alone.
She had barely slept the night before, the hours bleeding together with her nerves, winding tighter over the unknown of the following day. But that Sunday morning, the certainty of her choice pushed her out of bed.
Her energy was manic as she got ready and walked to Troy’s house. It was after nine, so she hoped that Troy would be awake.
Caitlin walked right in, the door still unlocked from the previous night, and found Troy in the kitchen making breakfast.
“Hey babe, I didn’t know you were coming over thismorning. Want some pancakes?”
“No, thanks. I actually need to talk to you about something.” Caitlin sat at the kitchen island. The distance between them felt necessary.
“Is everything okay?” Troy asked, worried.
“You’re a really great boyfriend, Troy.” She swallowed, then pushed out the words. “I know we’ve been together for a long time, but I just don’t feel the same way that you do anymore.”
“Wait… are you breaking up with me?” Troy dropped the spatula. “Where the hell is this coming from?”
“Oh, come on, Troy. We’ve been dating since we were kids, back when you flirted by tugging on my ponytail.” She paused, letting her statement sink in. “Things change,peoplechange. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but we aren’t those same kids anymore. I’ve been trying to pretend that it still feels the same, like we’re still us, but that’s not true.”
Caitlin watched Troy, standing with his mouth slack, the dropped spatula still on the floor.
She softened her voice. “I care about you too much to keep faking something that doesn’t feel real anymore.”
“You’re joking, right? Are you filming this?” Troy spun in a circle, searching for a hidden camera.
“I’m not joking, Troy, I’m sorry. I know it won’t be easy, but I hope that we can go back to being friends someday.”
Troy just looked at her, anger coloring his face.
“Screw you, Caitlin. Get out of my house.” Troy turned his back to her, not waiting for a response or to see if she obeyed.
Caitlin felt horrible. She had known this part wouldn’t be easy, but she couldn’t stay in the relationship any longer just to spare his feelings. And now, she was one step closer to Gemma.
The sidewalk felt longer than usual, every stride tightening the knot in her stomach. What if Gemma wasn’t home? Orworse, what if Emily had spent the night? The unknowns pressed in, howling louder than the autumn wind, but Caitlin kept walking. She had to see this through.
Hands trembling, Caitlin folded her fingers into her palm and knocked on Gemma’s front door.
It took a few minutes, but when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs on the other side, Caitlin held her breath.
