“I’d be extendin’ the same courtesy t’ yourself, now, y’hear? Y’safe wi’ us, John-Francis. Y’got no need t’ hide yourself.”
A short bark of laughter escaped me. “Ya’d better not be breathin’ a word o’ this, eh? Y’might be more acceptin’ than most, but y’know there’s still a lotta folks that wouldn’t be agreein’, like,” I muttered.
“Aye. I’d been keepin’ Ronan’s secret safe his whole life, now. F’sure I’d be doin’ the same f’yourself, aye?”
“Why?” The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“Ah, it’d be no mystery,” Fiadh replied, her voice soft, almost tender. “Ya make Ronan happy. Ya’d have t’ be feckin’ blind not t’ see that, like. I’d never be seein’ me boy this way… an’ I like ya, John-Francis.”
I was lost for words. Thankfully, Fiadh had more than enough for the both of us.
“I’d be admittin’ when Ronan first told us y’an Ayres, I’d had me reservations, now, but ya a good lad. Y’not ya da’s sort, that’s f’sure. Y’follow ya ma there. I’d not be knowin’ Mary Ayres all that well, but I’d heard she was a good girl, like – a grand wee friend, trustworthy… I see that in yourself.”
Fuck. The stinging in my eyes returned tenfold and I pinched the bridge of my nose, hastily swiping away the wetness I found there. I needed to pull myself together, and quickly – before Ronan and Darragh got back.
“Ya be treatin’ me boy well, y’hear? Ronan is a good lad, like yourself. Don’t ya go hurtin’ him, now.”
I shook my head, clearing my throat. “Nah. I’d not be wantin’ that either. He… means a lot t’ me.”
“Aye, I know. Well, that’s grand.” Fiadh got up from her chair, clapping me on the back as she gestured to my beer. “Y’want another o’ them?”
I nodded, tongue feeling three sizes too big for my mouth, and held out my empty bottle. My gaze drifted across the camp, spotting Ronan and Darragh as they returned. Darragh had his bloodied shirt off now, holding it against his faceand using it as a makeshift icepack. Ronan was clearly ripping into him and as they grew closer, I heard them laughing.
“Feck, Ronan, don’t be makin’ me laugh, now,” Darragh groaned. “Me face is killin’ me.”
Ronan caught my eye, shooting me a grin. Fiadh reappeared and passed me another beer bottle before turning to greet the others.
“Ya made yourself welcome, aye?” Ronan teased, sitting down in the chair beside me. I could tell by the light behind his eyes that he was pleased by that.
“Ah, well, I’d not be refusin’ a drink, like,” I replied, sucking on my beer.
Fiadh grabbed two more bottles, sharing them with her sons before taking a seat on the other side of me. We chatted easily, laughing and making jokes at Darragh’s expense. It had been a long,longtime since I’d ever felt so comfortable around other folks. Their company filled me in a way I hadn’t realised I’d needed to be. Most of my life had been insular, never trusting or reaching out beyond Declan. He was my best mate, nothing would ever come between us, and yet I knew I’dmissedthis – being in a group, finally comfortable in my own skin. It felt like family, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I…belonged.
Chapter Nine
Ronan
Time passed us by quicker than I’d ever thought possible. Soon, the heat of summer had waned, giving way to frosty mornings and crisp leaves.
Darragh, Ma and I had settled into this new chapter of our lives in Appleby. Ma found herself tied up caring for her wee pal, whilst Darragh and I had sourced ourselves a tipper truck. We set about gathering scrap metal from around town to weigh in for money. Our days were spent trawling the streets of Appleby and the surrounding towns in search of anything worth picking up. It wasn’t glamorous work, but it was all we knew.
To my delight, John-Francis had become a regular face around our place. Declan’s wee buffer girl had seemingly moved in with him, though she kept herself to herself, and as a result we rarely saw him. I couldn’t bring myself to be disappointed by that – the less time John-Francis spent with Declan, the more he was able to spend with me.
It made me happier than I’d ever been waking up beside him almost every morning. If it was early enough, we’d get to mess around together before making our way over to meet up with Ma and Darragh for breakfast. I was certain my absence had been noticed by my family, but no one said a word, keeping my secrets just as they always did. Except now they weren’t justmysecrets.
Ma had well and truly taken John-Francis under her wing and though he made a show of being indifferent, I knew it meant a lot to him. John-Francis had been in need of a mother for a long time, and it seemed mine had been all too eager to step up and fill that emptiness.
When the weather turned colder still, bringing in heavy snow, John-Francis and Declan’s wee landscaping business all but dried up. It was an occupational hazardI supposed, depending on work that required decent weather, but it became apparent that they’d long since figured out a way to make money in the colder months.
I hadn’t been surprised when John-Francis had come to me with his plans to shoplift a local store. It was a quick and relatively easy way to make a load of money, and whilst I’d never taken part in a bigger operation like the ones John-Francis and Declan had, I was no stranger to the five-finger discount.
My offers to help had been declined and I hadn’t pushed him on it. John-Francis had made it clear he knew what he was doing and whilst I could admit I worried about him every time he went out with Declan and some of the other fellas, I had faith in his abilities.
Before long, he was making money at a startling rate. Darragh and I often lamented our own choices in profession, but there was certainly something to be said for a lower, more steady flow of cash. John-Francis’s wee enterprise was volatile and dangerous to say the least.
To everyone’s surprise, Declan’s girl, Tess, started to join them on their excursions. It turned out she was a great asset to them, often acting as a lookout or a distraction for the others to get in and out undetected. I didn’t much like settled folk, but if Tess was helping to keep John-Francis out of trouble that made her alright by me.
Months later, spring had sprung and it was on one cool morning that I woke up to John-Francis’s hands all over me. I smiled, rubbing my eyes as I came to, whilst he disappeared beneath the covers and kissed his way down my body. It was always a good day whenever it started out like this.
