Ronan shrugged. “It’s calmin’ down, like. The pigs have moved on. Declan gave ‘em the slip and they’re not after anyone else here.” He held my eye contact, silently relieved the authorities hadn’t rumbled us. They had clearly decided a witch hunt after Declan was going to be more successful and that suited me just fine. I knew my mate – he’d be just as unfazed about that as I was.
“Feck, I need some ice f’this eye, like,” Darragh sighed, cautiously getting to his feet. When he stumbled a little, Ronan grabbed him by the elbow.
“I’ll take ya.” He looked at me. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
I held up my palms in agreement, shifting foot to foot as Fiadh and I watched them making their way back across the camp. After a moment of tense silence, I heard her sigh.
“Those boys’ll be the death o’ me. Y’fancy a wee beer, now?”
“Aye,” I said, clearing my throat. “That’d be grand.”
When Fiadh gestured for me to take a seat, I gingerly lowered myself down into one of the lawn chairs. I wasnervous,I realised with a start. Something about being here alone with Fiadh set me on edge, my mind churning up old, dark memories of my own ma.
She returned swiftly with a bottle, popping the cap before holding it out for me. It was a little warmer than I’d have ideally liked, but I held my tongue and tipped it back whilst Ronan’s ma settled down in the chair beside me.
“Did y’ever find out what the filth wanted, like?”
I felt myself growing ever more tense, taking my time swallowing a mouthful of beer before answering.
“Y’know ‘bout the pub, aye? The other night?”
Fiadh nodded, sipping from her bottle.
“Me mate, Declan, he’d had a run in wi’ the fella who owns it, so we thought t’ get back at him, like. Declan wasn’t there, I made sure o’ that, but I’d guess his name was put forward t’ the pigs as suspect number one, aye?”
Fiadh nodded. “Aye, makes sense. Folks always be losin’ they heads whenever the filth sniffin’ ‘bout, now. Even if it’d nothin’ t’ do wi’ ‘em.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I replied. “Lookin’ f’a reason t’ get fightin’, like.”
“Ya’d know a wee bit ‘bout that, eh? More than most I’d wager bein’ Colm Ayres’ boy, now.”
I felt like I’d been dunked into ice cold water. Just the mention of my da had my palms sweaty and my heart racing. I raised my bottle to my lips, feeling my brow furrow into a scowl.
“Y’knew me da, then?” That was all I could think to say.
“Nah, not well. Knewofhim, more like.” There was a dark sympathy shining in her gaze and I hastily looked away.
“Aye, well, he’d be nobody’s problem anymore. He’s inside, if y’hadnt heard already, like.” I kept my eyes fixed into the distance, trying to pretend like just talking of my da didn’t set my teeth on edge.
Fiadh hummed thoughtfully. “Too late f’ya ma, I hear. I’d be sorry t’ find out. Must o’ been hard f’ya.”
I shrugged, fighting to push down the turbulent emotions that swirled within me. Just like when I’d spoken to Ronan about this, I felt a sadness that I’d thought I was long past growing in my chest.
“Nah, we’d not seen one another in a long time ‘fore that, now. I’d not been surprised neither,” I said, sniffing as I turned my attention to the beer bottle in my hands. “Said t’ Ronan he’d best not be takin’ his ma f’granted, like. Doesn’t know how lucky he is.”
“Ah, son…” Fiadh murmured softly, clearly touched by my words. To my horror, I felt a familiar stinging in my eyes as I grew emotional. I scowled, chugging down my beer in an attempt to distract myself.
“Y’know, I’d been meanin’ t’ speak t’ ya ‘bout that,” Fiadh continued. “Ya an’ Ronan, I mean.”
I steeled myself as I met her eye, relieved to be changing the subject. She was gazing back at me, eyes squinting against the sun. When she shaded her face with her hands, I saw a knowing smile playing on her lips. I was suddenly tense in an entirely different way and averted my gaze, staring at the grass. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, but that didn’t seem to deter Fiadh.
“Look, I’m not some wet behind the ears wee wain, aye? I know what y’boys be doin’… What y’mean t’ each other, now,” she said, her voice low.
I felt nauseous, bracing for whatever was coming next. I lifted my bottle to my lips, so distracted by my pulse pounding in my ears that I hadn’t noticed it was empty.
“Y’got nothin’ t’ hide from me, like,” she continued. “I’d been knowin’ what Ronan’s ‘bout since he was a wee lad. I know some folks be havin’ a hard time understandin’ it, but that’s not me. I’d be keepin’ beside me boy regardless o’ who he chooses t’ be lovin’ on, aye?”
At that I lowered my head, rubbing the back of my neck. I felt hot and uncomfortable yet oddly heartened by Fiadh’s words. Jaysus, Ronan didn’t know how good he had it.
