I heard Sarah groan with disgust as she took a swig from the bottle and cast her a grin. That vodka was cheap, nasty shite but it would do the job and that’s all that mattered to me.
I sat myself down in the chair and dragged Sarah into my lap. She giggled and as Tess and Declan approached, she held out the bottle to them.
“Here,” she shouted. “It’s vile.”
“You’re really selling it to me,” Tess replied sarcastically, taking the bottle from her. She sniffed it cautiously before taking a small sip. “Ugh.”
Sarah’s attention snapped back to me. She was a keen, wee thing, pressing her body into mine, stroking her hands all over me. I tried to get into it, but I was on edge. We were back at the camp now and my thoughts were fixated on Ronan, eyes darting around, studying each face as it passed.
“What are you thinking about?” Sarah purred in my ear. “You’re a million miles away.”
I don’t think ya’d really wanna know…I took a deep breath, grasping her by her chin and dragging her into another kiss. Sarah melted into me immediately with a soft sigh, and yet all I felt was tension. It was frustrating. Whilst I couldn’t honestly say getting the ride in with a girl was on the same level as with a fella, I had always been able to summon some sort of enthusiasm for it, and yet this evening I couldn’t seem to get out of my head. When Sarah backed off, I was silently relieved.
“Can we go to your place?”
And there it was – the question most fellas would have been jumping at. I leant back into the chair with a shrug.
“If ya’d like.”
That was all Sarah needed to hear. In a flash she was clambering out of my lap and straightening out her clothes.
“Hey Tess? I’m, uh, going to go hang out with John-Francis at his place for a bit.”
Declan glanced at me with a knowing grin, and I forced myself to return it. If nothing else, tonight would serve to bury my secrets just that little bit deeper.
Tess got up and looped her arm around her friend, pulling her into a hug. Whilst they said their goodbyes, I glanced around the party, eyes searching the darkness… I stilled, finally spotting the one person I equally yearned and dreaded seeing.
Ronan. Our eyes locked across the fire, just as they’d done the night prior. I wondered how he was faring today after that brief, explosive encounter. Just remembering it had me feeling hot and agitated. I certainly wouldn’t be dragging my heels if it was him I was getting on top of.
The corner of my mouth lifted into a smile, but Ronan remained stone-faced and surly. For a moment, my stomach turned over. Had I imagined how great that fuck had been? I’d been pretty sure he’d been as into it as I was, but–
“Ready to go, handsome?”
I flinched, glancing down at Sarah as she sidled up to me and entwined her fingers with mine. My eyes darted back to Ronan, noting that his mood seemed to have darkened further still. He cocked a brow at me, silently questioning what I was doing with Sarah – not just a girl, but also a settled. I didn’t know how to answer that. The interaction lasted no longer than a few seconds, but Ronan’s disapproval was clear. With a frown, he turned away from me and disappeared into the crowds.
“Comeon,” Sarah whined, dragging me ahead. I simply stumbled along beside her, feeling strangely hollow. What did it matter what Ronan thought of me? He was a stranger to me, just as Sarah was. I didn’t know anything about him except his name and that he liked a fella at his back, and yet my gut roiled with regret. Why did I feelguiltyabout being here with Sarah?
With my mind elsewhere, we arrived back at my caravan in no time. Without a word I unlocked it and held the door open for Sarah to clamber inside before following behind her.
“It’s actually kind of cute in here, you know,” she murmured, glancing around with curiosity as I flicked on a light. “I wasn’t sure what to expect.”
“Aye, well…” I didn’t know what to say to that, rubbing the back of my neck.
“My grandparents had a caravan just like this. They used to take me away with them during the school holidays sometimes when I was younger.”
I hadn’t been interested in Sarah’s life story even before I’d crossed paths with Ronan, but now it was safe to say I couldn’t give less of a shite. As she blabbered on, I opened up one of the cupboards in the kitchenette, fingers finding a stashed baggie of Ecstasy tablets. I was going to need all the fucking help I could get tonight.
“Sometimes I used to help my gran with washing the caravan down. They get absolutely covered in bugs, don’t they? Do you– Oh, hey, um… What’s that?” Sarah’s monologue was interrupted as she spotted me fiddling about with the wee baggie.
“E. Y’want some, like?” I tipped out two tablets into my palm before sitting down at the edge of the bed beside Sarah.
“I’m not really into all that stuff,” she muttered, shifting about nervously. As I lifted my hand, about to pop one of the pills, Sarah reached out and grabbed my wrist. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.”
I stared at her for a moment. “Y’coddin’?”
“Am I what?” she spluttered. “Sorry, you’ve lost me.
“Jokin’,” I clarified. “Are ya jokin’, like.”
