“So? Neither have I,” he replied. I sighed and lowered my face to his, hovering just a few centimetres from a kiss.
“Gross.” I grinned. Rowan sat forward and forced his mouth upon mine, and I felt his lips curve into a smile. Before long, our kiss was mostly teeth as we both tried desperately to be serious.
“Have you got any plans for your day?” I asked him between kisses.
“That depends,” Rowan replied.
“On what?”
“On whether you’re going to sit on top of me, kissing me all day.”
I laughed and shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere to be.”
As if punctuating my words, my phone buzzed loudly against the wooden bedside table. Rowan and I glanced at it.
“Your roommate?” he asked.
“This early? I doubt it,” I scoffed and stretched over to grab the phone, not moving my weight from on top of Rowan. I flicked the screen down to look at the notifications. “Oh, it’s Becca.”
“Did she get home alright last night?”
I opened the message.
BECCA: Got home safe but feeling like death. Did you get your end away?
I laughed aloud at the crudeness of her message. I felt Rowan’s eyes on me.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing. She just— Hey!” I spluttered as Rowan dug his fingers into my ribs, tickling me whilst simultaneously snatching the phone. “No, wait!”
Rowan turned the screen towards him and read the message. Though he smiled, a light dimmed in his eyes, and I felt my stomach churn.
“She knows about all of this?” he asked.
I suddenly felt guilty for having spilled secrets that technically weren’t mine to spill. I cleared my throat. Honesty was always the best policy.
“Yeah, she does. Although no details, despite her persistence. She was just joking in that message.”
Rowan shot me a small, tight smile before rolling out from underneath me. I threw my phone down, scrambling up onto my knees. I nibbled my lip.
“Are you upset with me?” I asked quietly.
“No, no. Nothing like that,” Rowan replied, turning his back to me. “I’m mostly disappointed.”
“Ugh, that’s worse,” I muttered.
“Not with you,” Rowan hurriedly added, turning to look at me. “With myself. You should be able to share your life with your friends without feeling any obligation to keep my secrets.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “She won’t tell anyone; I can promise you that.”
Yet again, my misgivings over the complicated relationship I had with Rowan reared their ugly heads. It was mystifying how quickly we went from blissful, to tense and concerned. I had emotional whiplash.
“If you trust her, then that’s fine with me.” Rowan sighed, his muscular shoulders rising and falling. “I felt guilty enough about all of this when it was just between the two of us. Now I know Becca knows about it too…” He trailed off.
I walked towards him on my knees and reached out tentatively to smooth my hand over his back. When Rowan allowed my touch, I shuffled closer still and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body against his. To my relief, he relaxed into me and pressed a soft kiss to my forearm.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told her anything. I promise you it all started innocently enough.” I paused. When Rowan didn’t say anything, I elaborated. “I thought you were hot as hell, and I often moaned to Becca about how unfair it was that I’d never stand a chance with you.”
