“Cult of Team Building, then,” I correct Kathy. She rolls her eyes at me but sticks by my side as we follow the drift of people into the building, which opens immediately into a large, wide room with a high ceiling.
It kind of reminds me of a ballroom if only a little too plain. It’s got that “any event can be held here” vibe that doesn’t photograph as well as you’d hope. Still, there are some balloons filling the space, some tables on one side of the room, a little bar set up in the corner. The empty space and speakers on the other side of the room make me a little apprehensive. I don’t know who in their right might planned this and really thought they’d be able to get any of their coworkers to boogie.
Kathy heads straight for the bar, and since I’ve kind of attached my will to be social to her, I follow. I order whatever she’s having and try not to show too plainly that it tastes vile.
We do that thing we’re so good at when we hang out, which is not talk at all, staring around the room for long stretches of time. We watch our coworkers pick at an hors d'oeuvres spread and loosen up after a few drinks. The music kicks on, way louder than it needs to be, and yet the Cult of Productivity lady is louder.
She keeps asking in an overly dramatic voice, “Are you going to be a part of the problem or a part of the solution, people?”
“Well, we can’t have solution people without problem people,” Kathy sniffs, trying to maneuver her cup around her beak.
“You’re a vital part of the economy, really.”
“It’s really important that we make problems even harder than they were to start with.”
I hold back my remark that she’s getting a little too close to reality.
“I’ll put your file in the shredder if you actually say any of that to her,” I offer with just a hint of jest. I kinda mean it.
“But I worked so hard on that!”
I roll my eyes at her, and they land on Vlad again, because the cultist has managed to corner him next.
She’s been going around in her long purple robes introducing herself to everyone and spending a lot of time chatting with people about their career paths, what they see for themselves in the future. She has a lot to say about maximizing our morning rituals, highlighting the ways we all could be doing more.
Yeah, of course he knows all that nonsense, he’s tired of it, I roll my eyes on his behalf. I hope he gives her a run for her money.
We move along when the cultist gets a little too close to us, and when we’ve circled the room at least once, I ask Kathy, “Where's Ted?”
“Over there,” she answers without even looking, tilting her head to a corner of the ballroom. “We have to go back to normal at some point, don't we?”
As she says this, I glance back to Vlad, and my whole body ignites when I see him looking at me with those dark amber eyes. I have to hold myself back from running away from this conversation and to him. My hands dig into the nearest tablecloth, and I only get a few inches before the weight of the plates on it anchors me down.
It makes me sad to think we won’t even see each other at work because we’re in different offices. We might email every once in a while, or call and chat. It won’t be the same as being right there with him, though. Still, maybe we could meet up in person every now and then for a reprise.
I hang nearby, hoping to catch some of his conversation, but the music’s too loud to hear Vlad’s low, soothing voice. I stay in place a little too long, trying to listen. After a few minutes, I make out just enough to realize he’s talking about volunteering at a local undead sanctuary.
“There’s been a huge influx of new visitors after the whole Dark Regime change up,” Vlad is saying as I inch closer.“...I was asking Angela if she would help with a class-action suit the shelter was preparing. There was a typo in the contract. Now instead of souls damned to eternity, it’s soup. It's been a mess trying to renegotiate.”
I never knew to ask him about that. My heart swells to think that’s he’s such a sweet guy he would spend his little free time volunteering, that there’s still so much about him I don’t know and wish I did. But at the same time, it sinks a little in me. Of course, he’s got causes to champion and support, he’s got his life together.
I’m so lost in thought, I barely notice when Kathy jogs off in the other direction, and someone replaces her on my other side in a swoosh of purple.
I catch sight of Vlad nearby, and for a moment I think maybe it’s him, with his bluish-gray wings. But he’s still too far away.
Then I see the cult woman is absent from his side, and at mine.
Her smile is wide with a few too many teeth as she grabs my hand and tries to professionally break it. I don’t think humans are supposed to have that many teeth, but I’m not entirely sure. She uses her grip to tow me back over to where she was talking to Vlad, and there’s a pinch of panic in my chest that I’m in trouble. That’s not really possible, because she doesn’t have any authority over us.
“Hi, I’m Jenna, the guru from the Productivity Empowerment New Initiative Seminar. I’m here to teach everyone at Evil Inc. how to maximize their goals.”
“Oh! Wow. That’s a mouthful. I’m, uh, Gwen, I’m in Monster Resources,” I stammer, and feel already a little lost. I didn’t know goals could be maximized, and I’m a little scared to learn what that means.
“Vladyr was just telling me about you,” she tells me, and he does seem to still be a part of this conversation.
“Guilty,” he shrugs, and gives me an apologetic smile from over her shoulder. Clearly, he didn’t realize that Jenna was looking for victims. “I was just telling her about your unlimited PTO idea.”
Something of a playful urge rises in me. The minute she looks away from me, I’m going to get him back for this.
