“Apart from that!” I snap. Is she serious? She knows how I feel. She knows she’s mine. “You can’t fucking have that.” I push off the mattress and stride toward the bar, every muscle in my body pulled to the point of pain. “Why the fuck did you have to say that?” I seethe, pouring myself a Scotch with a shaky hand.
Warm arms wrap around my middle.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” She kisses my back, banishing every cell of anger from inside me, and slowly, I relax in her hold.
“I’m not a good man, Hevan.” I sigh. “You’re aware of this already.”
“You are,” she implores, her tone lifting an octave. “I know you are. I can see it inside you.”
A mocking scoff rumbles through my chest, and I turn so quickly that her arms detach from me. “Then you’re blind.”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t turn what we have into something worthless.”
“What is it you think we have here, Hevan?” I snipe out. “Hmm? I purchased you. I bought you; you’re my sex slave, my little toy. Nothing more.”
“Liar!” she snaps, and her voice bounces off the walls. Her face reddens with the very same anger I feel corrupting my veins.
“You might want to lie to yourself, Azrael, but you can’t lie to me!”
“Then what do you think this is, huh?” I hold my arms out in front of me.
“Love,” she whispers, and I almost want to laugh. Almost. But the destroyed look on her face tells me not to. It tells me to soften the blow to protect her.
“I’m unlovable,” I state. Does she not realize the monster I am?
She balks, and when she sees my expression, her features soften. Then she steps forward and lifts onto her tiptoes, and I allow her to place the gentle kiss onto my lips purely to appease her. Only her.
“You.” Her soft lips touch mine, then she pulls back. “Azrael Carrera.”Kiss.“Are completely loveable.”
The way her tender body presses against mine causes my cock to stir, and I long to show her the emotion she deserves. Even though I know I’m far from the man she wants me to be, I lift her ass to draw her closer to me and open my mouth when her tongue seeks entrance. I close myeyes and give myself over to her; in this moment, I can be the man she deserves.
“This isn’t love, Hevan,” I say, barely believing the words myself. I pull back, breathless, to search her face for acknowledgment of my words but find none. She’s completely lost in the moment, absorbed by the lust of our passion. Then I mirror the moan into our kiss as her fingernails rake down my back, branding me.
“You’re right, this is destiny.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Azrael
The steady sound of her heart beating against mine sets my world ablaze. She’s the center of the universe I’d destroy to keep her. She’s the beam of hope in the blackest of skies, and ultimately, she’s my salvation.
She moans in her sleep, and I smooth the hair from her face, placing gentle kisses over her head. I run my hand through her silky locks, loving the way it slips between my fingers like a knife through butter.
“Ugh,” she moans, and I furrow my brow. Still sleeping, her body twists, and I hate the sound of her anguish. Then she darts up, her face is pale, and she rushes toward the bathroom.
What the hell?
Panic takes over me, and I jump up from the bed, grab my pants, and slip them on before following after her.My pulse rushes, and I shift from foot to foot, feeling completely useless when she clearly needs me.
She’s leaning over the toilet, heaving into the bowl, so Imove behind her and wrap my hand in her hair, twisting it from her face as she vomits. The sound of her heaving causes my gut to clench, for no other reason than the thought of her suffering is too much to bear.
“If your father got a hold of her, you’d never survive his punishment of her.”
“Is it something you ate?” I ask, and she swipes her mouth with the back of her hand, then I release her hair.
She stands to her full height and shakes her head. “I don’t think so. I ate the same as you.” I gently turn her and lift her onto the counter. After grabbing a washcloth from the shelf, I dampen it under the tap, then dab it at the corners of her mouth to clean off her lips.
“Th-thank you.”
